A Burst of Anger

Don't get angry at us!" A colleague commented after I asked for the location of another colleague.

"Was I angry?" I asked myself. Perhaps, it was the negativity that I was exposed to just a minute earlier. Negativity is contagious.

Got off the phone with an elderly stranger who called to 'feedback' about how we are ignorant of the plights of others like her. She hurled bolt after bolt of insults at me.

I have to admit. I felt my blood pressure rising after each abusive word spoken. But strangely as if I was in a zone where time slows down, I was feeling the rising blood pressure slowly and with each breath, I tried to slow it down.

I was caught unprepared. And perhaps I was emotionally hurt as well, not by the words but the pain that I was feeling throughout the phone conversation. The elderly was clearly in pain. Not physical but emotional and mental pain, she was suffering within.

Perhaps unknowingly, I adopted her speaking tone and corresponding imagined facial expression for a brief moment to my colleague and that translates to negativity unknowingly.

I understand she was ranting about how miserable her life is but unfortunately life doesn't improve when you blame others for the misery. When we are negative, we sees only the negative and our life gets even more negative. And the more entrenched the mind is within the negativity without realizing it, it is difficult for others to try and bring some positivity to negate the negativity.

As I sat down in the MRT train, I am still feeling the pain within, gradually withering away with each wish for her to be well and happy.

Sharing negativity doesn't lessen the negativity; sometimes, it only serves to strengthen it.

But fortunately at the other side of the coin, sharing positivity doesn't lessen the positivity that we have but only strengthens and spreads the positivity.

I am grateful for this experience. I understand a little more about myself, the experiential 'science' behind emotional contagion.

My apologies to my colleagues for the brief moment of negativity. And I hope the elderly stranger to be well and happy.

May everyone be well and happy. May all abide in peace.

With Loving-Kindness
Simple Bear 05.11.2015.

My First Kathina

My First Kathina

As I lay my body on the monastery floor for a quick nap before sunrise, a feeling of gratitude and peace swept over me.

No other words can describe my first overseas Kathina experience.

Spent my weekend in Santi Forest Monastery in Ulu Tiram, Malaysia to participate in the Kathina ceremony.

My gratitude to the 8th committee of Simbuddhist Bhavana for organizing the trip. You girls did a great job! Please send my gratitude to everyone who is involved in helping to make this trip enjoyable.

My sincere apologies to my old and new friends on this trip as I spent a lot of time away from you all in solitary reflection. Thanks for the patience and understanding everyone.

My sincere gratitude to everyone who had contributed to my reflections on this trip including the two cute big dogs in the monastery. I resolved the troubling issues that I had within for the past few weeks.

I had achieved for a brief moment, santi (peace) and I will use the experience to move forward in my spiritual journey.

Thank you everyone.

May all be well and happy.

With Loving-Kindness
Simple Bear 04.11.2015.