Just a Smile

Just a Smile

The late John F. Kennedy once said, "ask not what your country can do for you, ask what can you do for your country."

The year was 1961.

54 years later, on Boxing Day 2015, I was contemplating on my experiences and this quote arose within, "Ask not what your fellow humans can do for you, ask what you can do for them."

Perhaps the thoughts which came to mind at this point of time upon reading my previous paragraph are, for example, I don't have money to give like the rich, don't have time to give like the rich etc.

For those of us working in the "helping" sectors, doing well at our work is one way we contribute towards the well-being of our fellow human beings but what can we do everyday outside of our work for our fellow human beings?

For those of us who volunteers our time with the less fortunate, doing well at volunteering e.g. the knowledge and skills to better help the less fortunate is one way of contributing but what can we do everyday outside of our volunteering work for our fellow human beings?

For those of us who donates towards causes which help the less fortunate, more contribution towards the causes is one way of contributing but what can we do everyday outside of our monetary contributions for our fellow human beings?

The answer? To me, is to cultivate positive habits such as positive thoughts, empathy for all, compassion for those who are suffering. In short, become a better person both mentally and emotionally.

I had the wonderful opportunity to dress up as Santa Claus during Boxing Day to distribute snacks to our special friends in Institute of Mental Health and rehabilitation facilities nearby in Buangkok.

Some welcome me (or maybe it is only the snacks :p) with smilies and some (maybe one or two) reacts with negativity but reflecting on the experiences, what was most memorable were the patients who had difficulties sitting up and welcoming me or even have the snacks that I was distributing.

They just smiled at me from their lying positions on their beds. And that, even writing about it now brings tears to my eyes. They gave me a wonderful gift for Christmas. They gave me their smilies.

I reflected upon the wonderous smilies of theirs. Despite their limited physical capacity, they gave me a priceless gift. Perhaps I was imagining things but I could feel positivity when I looked into their eyes when they smiled at me.

They maybe limited in capacity but not in capability.

I asked myself, could I be as good as them? How much does it cost to give a positive thought, a smile to others, to our fellow humans on the street in our everyday life? It doesn't cost a penny. If our special friends can do it, why can't I?

I am not saying that we should just smile (facial expression) everytime to everyone regardless of how we think and feel. We should cultivate and build the cognitive and emotional capacity for smiles. The positive thoughts, the empathy, the compassion that we think and feel are what makes the smiles so valuable and compellingly beautiful.

We can do much more apart from the work, volunteering and monetary contributions for our fellow humans. Everyone is suffering in one way or another; we are all fighting our own wars and maybe a smile is all it takes to provide respite from their sufferings.

The first human to benefit from cultivating those wholesome habits are ourselves.

Thank you to the Achievers, Friends of IMH for the opportunity and all volunteers for helping out.

Thank you to our special friends for the wonderful gifts of smiles and postivity.

May all be well and happy. May all cultivate a beautiful mind and smile.

With Loving-Kindness
Simple Bear 28.12.2015.

自理

自理

同理对天下
双脚走天涯
莫为从前痴
步入崇真崖

简单熊 19.12.2015.

Keeping the flame alive

Keeping the flame alive

Ring~~~~

The alarm sounded off at 7am. I lie in bed thinking today is the latest I woke up in the past two weeks. My body is tired. My throat is in pain. My head is dealing with a series of headaches. My mind is exhausted.

I don't feel like going anywhere.

The lazy bear in me was holding to my mind tightly, begging me to cancel all my activities today and sleep in. But the eccentric bear in me was telling me that today is a special day, a day of new understanding.

I decided to ignore the lazy bear in me.

Spent my morning at Apex Harmony Lodge with my old and new friends from Psyconnect, interacting with elderly suffering from dementia. The questions that I had in my mind were (a) are the elderly enjoying our company or are we just a nuisance to them (b) are our presence a help to them i.e. making their days a little happier (c) what else can we do to make their lives better. To say the truth, I don't know how they feel towards us, our presence but I know for most of them, in a brief moment, their smiles are the best answer to my questions.

Looking at some of them in their eyes, I understand and know that I would never know what truly is in their minds, how frightening it is to know and understand the fact that their memories and understanding of the world that they used to know are quickly fading away.

I spent the later part of the day in the Institute of Mental Health as the emcee of a fabulous Christmas party organized by Friends of IMH for our special friends. Again I had the same questions and I had the same answer. They were singing and dancing together with us.

That, to me is good enough.

People asked me since I am already working in the mental health sector, helping people with mental health issues. Why am I still volunteering my time since I am so tired and worn out?

My answer?

It keeps my passion for the mental health sector burning. I am only two weeks in my new work and I know that on a larger scale of things, my work ultimately is part of making Singapore now and in the future, a better place for people suffering from mental health issues but a lot of us had heard stories of bad attitudes and services from social service and healthcare workers.

I am sure for most of us in the sectors, we all started with the passion, the wish to help people through our work and making compassion our lifelong ambition. Along the way, the stress and crazy workload gets to us like a disease, slowly eating us from the inside out. Negativity slowly eating away at our passion. We got burned out. We soon lose sight of the compassionate goals that we had in the beginning. What is left are only bitterness and disappointments.

I don't want that to happen to me. That is why I still volunteer. No matter how grand the goal of work is e.g. to make Singapore a more inclusive and compassionate society for all. What really matter most now and in the future is each and every single one of them who are suffering now from mental illnesses. Seeing them happy or even sad keeps my passion burning and add meaning to my everyday work in the mental health sector.

I don't have big ambitions or dreams that I can change the world for the better. But I know my time spent volunteering and my time at work changes peoples' world, one moment at a time.

They are the reason for my work now and in the future and I don't have to wait to know that I made a difference.

Thank you to the volunteers and to my special friends. You all made a difference to me and you all changed my world for the better.

May all be well and happy.

With Loving-Kindness
Simple Bear 12.12.2015.

Empathy

Empathy

"Empathy is a wonderful gift for oneself and others; be careful with it for it is fragile, a slight tint of ego is enough to shatter it."
Simple Bear 12.12.2015.

A Burst of Anger

Don't get angry at us!" A colleague commented after I asked for the location of another colleague.

"Was I angry?" I asked myself. Perhaps, it was the negativity that I was exposed to just a minute earlier. Negativity is contagious.

Got off the phone with an elderly stranger who called to 'feedback' about how we are ignorant of the plights of others like her. She hurled bolt after bolt of insults at me.

I have to admit. I felt my blood pressure rising after each abusive word spoken. But strangely as if I was in a zone where time slows down, I was feeling the rising blood pressure slowly and with each breath, I tried to slow it down.

I was caught unprepared. And perhaps I was emotionally hurt as well, not by the words but the pain that I was feeling throughout the phone conversation. The elderly was clearly in pain. Not physical but emotional and mental pain, she was suffering within.

Perhaps unknowingly, I adopted her speaking tone and corresponding imagined facial expression for a brief moment to my colleague and that translates to negativity unknowingly.

I understand she was ranting about how miserable her life is but unfortunately life doesn't improve when you blame others for the misery. When we are negative, we sees only the negative and our life gets even more negative. And the more entrenched the mind is within the negativity without realizing it, it is difficult for others to try and bring some positivity to negate the negativity.

As I sat down in the MRT train, I am still feeling the pain within, gradually withering away with each wish for her to be well and happy.

Sharing negativity doesn't lessen the negativity; sometimes, it only serves to strengthen it.

But fortunately at the other side of the coin, sharing positivity doesn't lessen the positivity that we have but only strengthens and spreads the positivity.

I am grateful for this experience. I understand a little more about myself, the experiential 'science' behind emotional contagion.

My apologies to my colleagues for the brief moment of negativity. And I hope the elderly stranger to be well and happy.

May everyone be well and happy. May all abide in peace.

With Loving-Kindness
Simple Bear 05.11.2015.

My First Kathina

My First Kathina

As I lay my body on the monastery floor for a quick nap before sunrise, a feeling of gratitude and peace swept over me.

No other words can describe my first overseas Kathina experience.

Spent my weekend in Santi Forest Monastery in Ulu Tiram, Malaysia to participate in the Kathina ceremony.

My gratitude to the 8th committee of Simbuddhist Bhavana for organizing the trip. You girls did a great job! Please send my gratitude to everyone who is involved in helping to make this trip enjoyable.

My sincere apologies to my old and new friends on this trip as I spent a lot of time away from you all in solitary reflection. Thanks for the patience and understanding everyone.

My sincere gratitude to everyone who had contributed to my reflections on this trip including the two cute big dogs in the monastery. I resolved the troubling issues that I had within for the past few weeks.

I had achieved for a brief moment, santi (peace) and I will use the experience to move forward in my spiritual journey.

Thank you everyone.

May all be well and happy.

With Loving-Kindness
Simple Bear 04.11.2015.

无所谓

无所谓

心中起了烦恼，没法安静下来。脑海里充满了假设性的各种可能。如果情形一发生了怎么办? 如果情形二发生了怎么办? 如果。。。怎么办? 从如果中萌起了忧郁，应该怎么办。

当脑海被思绪所淹没时，突然之间，一个念头让一切都停止了。犹如海面静了，狂风停了。

我静静地，坐着。

如果下一刻，我死了，这些烦恼，忧郁的理由还重要吗?

不，一点都不重要。

死亡的可能，时时刻刻都在眼前但我们却假装看不见。

死亡并不可怕; 它给了生命它的价值，给了生命它的名字，给了生命它的生命。

犹如黑暗与光明。

今天一整天下来，断断续续，心中的烦恼，所烦恼之事重要吗?

心中已有答案。

无所谓。

幸福不等人

幸福不等人

"想幸福却不想着幸福当然不幸福。"
简单熊 20.10.2015.

友人(心事重重):"什么事情让你觉得幸福?"
简单熊:"有好多。家人朋友幸福，我就幸福。看到街上的恋人幸福，我就幸福。看到别人行善，我就幸福。自己有心有缘有机会行善，我就幸福。能善待自己，我就幸福。"

其实活着就是幸福。

谁都想幸福但往往我们常常会为难自己，给幸福添了很多附加条件。有了恋人才幸福，有了金钱才幸福，有了权势地位才幸福。但幸福很简单却没耐性，它不等人。错过了当下的幸福，就要等待下一个当下的幸福; 幸福，它真的不等人。

常常会有人问我如何才能幸福，我常常都说只要你想幸福，就会幸福。可惜的是我们往往想要幸福，心中却执着着不幸福，想着不幸福; 这样想着念着不幸福，我们都错过了一刻刻的幸福。

当然我不是说我们不应该有梦想，应该假装挫折，难过不存在而是以一颗平常心去对待。难过也罢，挫折也罢; 在人生的这些经历当中也会有幸福的点。失恋了，固然难过但也是因为两个人在一起曾经相恋快乐，幸福过。

有时我们不幸福，却没发觉我们不幸福。有时我们爱上了不幸福，把幸福给抛弃了。有时不幸福会伪装成幸福来欺骗我们，而我们还傻傻的把不幸福当成幸福。

我不是说我们应该每时每刻应该感到幸福，如果能当然最好不过; 但连现在的自己都做不到的事情，哪敢要求别人做得到。我只是希望我们在每天的人生当中，多一份对自己的了解与察觉，多一份想要给自己给别人幸福的念头，多一刻想着幸福的时刻。

在夜里，你想着是黑暗的沮丧，还是天上星星的希望。

愿大家幸福快乐

简单熊 20.10.2015.

回季

回季

又见秋末叶满地
忆念春夏泪不禁
远看雪花飘满天
悟其四季心随意

简单熊 19.10.2015.

Back to School

Back to School

A friend was sharing how difficult it is to practice his religious beliefs in everyday life and ask me for my perspective on it. He said he felt that the knowkedge are easier to apply on the religious grounds and not in the outside world. I told him that it is similar to part time work/study, going to school and applying the knowledge at work.

Think of all religious institutions as schools that we go to to learn knowledge and internalize them as forms of beliefs, habits etc. And life outside the religious institutions as 'work life' where we apply those knowledge to 'work problems', issues e.g. interpersonal, personal etc that we faced in everyday life. In short, practical application of the religious knowledge and beliefs that we have learned i.e. practice of the religious beliefs.

So if everyday life is work life then who is the boss, who are the customers? It is a one-man company, you are your own boss and your external stakeholders are the whole of humanity, the world which we live in, including the animals and plants. You decide what kind of boss you want to be, be it lax, strict etc. And the internal stakeholders are yourself, your family, your friends and also the whole of humanity.

If that is the case, then what about salary and bonuses? The salary is the mental and emotional peace that we feel everyday and bonuses are the positive things which happened in our lives e.g. a hug from a good friend.

What about office politics? It is your own mind. Your colleagues are the many conflicting thoughts in your mind between positive and negative e.g. wish for peace, happiness and greed, egoism. As the boss, you need to solve the politics to ensure the smooth operations of the 'organization' which is basically you.

In the working environment, we learn the practical application of the religious knowledge. So what if we are not equipped with the necessary knowledge, we go back to schools to 'upgrade' ourselves e.g. getting another professional certification, Masters degree, PhD etc.

If we have already attained the highest qualification there is, what is next? Continued research if academics becomes your work. There is no end to learning. We all as humanity, shared the same end, which is death.

So when do we retire? To say the truth, most of us are workaholics and we usually work till the last day.

Please excuse me for now. I need to get back to work.

Graduation

Grateful

I can't think of another better word to describe how I am feeling right now. From the initial elation that I felt 5 years ago on starting my childhood dream of studying Psychology till now, the overwhelming gratitude that I felt on my graduation day.

Thanks to my family, colleagues and friends for the support over the 5 years. And also the many ex-classmates and now, friends for making my university life fun and interesting especially seniors, peers and juniors of Psyconnect. I hope I didn't let you all down as the President over the last few years. Thank you for the trust and support. And of course, my army of studying comrades who suffered with me over the last five years during examination periods, from morning till night.

Last but not least, my lecturers who had given me their knowledge and support in my capacity as a student and also as President of Psyconnect.

It has been a long 5 years and tomorrow is the start of a new chapter, a whole new beginning.

Thank you everyone who had made this possible.

May all be well and happy

With Loving-Kindness
Simple Bear

寂寞

"有时，寂寞是一种失落; 一种当自己把世界遗忘的失落。"
简单熊 07.10.2015.

幸福就在那扇门后

幸福就在那扇门后

"什么是幸福?" 一位友人问。

我答:"幸福就在你那扇门后。快过去开门吧。你就会知道什么是幸福。"

他愣住了许久。始终没鼓起勇气去打开那扇门，见一见幸福了。

他说:"我一个人会害怕，我想还是等我家人和女友来了，我才开门吧。"

我说:"到那时，幸福就走了。它已经等了很久了。"

他问:"幸福等了很久了吗? 它怎么没按门铃?"

我答:"它按了好多次门铃了。你不是在睡觉，就是沉迷于电玩，当然没听到。"

友人透露出纳闷的表情，对我说，"你既然听到幸福的门铃声，怎么没叫我?"

我答:"我叫了。但你沉睡时叫不醒; 沉迷时听不进。"

友人顿时露出难堪的表情，很不好意思的说:"你当时就帮我开门，请它近来就好了嘛。"

我答:"房子是你的。门是你的。你既然是主人，理当是你去开门，怎么怪起我来了。"

友人静了静说:"我想还是算了。我不去开门了，还是不敢一个人，不如你陪我去吧。"

我答:"不。幸福只见你一个人。"

友人说:"那就算了吧。别再为幸福烦恼了。"

我答:"话是你说的。以后别再问我幸福是什么。想知道就自己去开门。幸福就在那扇门后。"

友人: 0_O!

简单熊 03.10.2015.

恋爱。了。

恋爱。了。

别误会，我没有在谈恋爱。只是对一段关于男女之间的爱情观的对话起了一些想法， 所以想写下来。

恋爱是人生的历练。有些人在爱情的门前徘徊，提不起勇气。有些在爱情里犹豫不觉， 拿不定主意。有些在爱情后悔恨不已，失去再爱的勇气。但一切只是经历。

每个人对爱情拥有一定的幻想。有些人在爱情的门前想着门后的美好。有些在爱里想着未来下一秒钟的无限可能。有些在爱情后想着曾经的美与不美。但一切只是幻想。

爱情是人生的一部分，也是人生的缩影。快乐与悲伤，甜蜜与痛苦，微笑与眼泪。其实，在每段感情里，我们需了解的并不只是相恋的爱人，我们更需要从中了解自 己。知道自己在爱里，想与不想的，爱与不爱的。爱情让人成长，让人有了对自己更深刻的了解。别浪费爱情，就算一段爱情会结束了，把学到的当成下一段爱情的 肥田。

爱情就好像夕阳， 无限美丽但只是近黄昏。

还是要勇敢去爱。

简单熊 29.09.2015.

你为何见死不救?

你为何见死不救?

曾有人怪我见了一位朋友痛苦而不去帮她。别人觉得我无情也好， 狠心也好。帮人啊， 不是单靠一股热忱就够了。 帮人是需要看天时地利人和的。适时的帮忙， 一句话就能改变他人的人生。单靠一股热忱，不能成事; 有时人没有帮到， 反而伤了他人， 伤了自己。

对于这位友人，该说的我都说了。 在我能力范围之内，能为她做的我都做了。有时候，我们都像儿时的自己。请问曾有多少次，当父母对我们说这里危险，劝我们不要去。不听话的我们还是去了，伤了， 痛了之后才发现原来父母的话都是真的，为我们好的。忠言，始终还是逆耳。

真正的改变自己不是别人能够做到的，只有自己才能改变自己。别人只是辅助; 若自己不想，别人逼也逼不得。有些人走近悬崖， 就有了倒退自救的想法但有些人跌入谷底后，才有想自救的欲望。身为朋友的，若尽力了，就只能待在身边。他人一旦有了自救的欲望，就伸手把他给扶上来。

每个人都能改变，从痛苦中重生，得以快乐但不是每个人都能改变每个人。
无情也好， 绝情也罢。

一切都让它去吧。

简单熊 21.09.2015.

Loving Heart, Loving Mind

A loving heart is a beautiful mind; and a beautiful mind is a loving heart.

I have seen this phrase (in the picture) for a few years but today I felt especially inspired by it. Perhaps after the seemingly torturous six months of struggling with an increasingly apathetic heart and the rational wish for a compassionate mind.

Thank you to everyone who had showed their concern and understanding that eccentric me needs to be a social hermit for these past few months to be in contemplation. I am slowly taking baby steps back into this world with renewed understanding of myself.

And today, I will start cultivating the love and beauty of the heart and mind by spending my time with those who had less of the freedom of choice to choose their states of mind.

And for all my friends who have the free will to choose for yourselves, a beautiful mind and a loving heart. I hope you all choose wisely.

May all be well and happy.

With Loving-Kindness
SImple Bear 19.09.2015.

发丝

发丝

三千烦恼初心没
随瓣纷扰苦中拓
登其幻楼当解脱
不如挥手优丝落

简单熊 16.09.2015.

回雨叹

回雨叹

烟雨绵绵心欲伤
独人窗前回忆长
淡谈红尘无恒浪
绵雨成河无字坊

简单熊 15.09.2015.

一时

一时

一生功过认后评
无底之心无人平
狂浪之涯不觉警
风尘过后悔不及

简单熊 13.09.2015.

Conversations with Humanity - Problem and Solution

Conversations with Humanity

A conversation which takes place on a sunny weekday morning in the hot month of May between an old bear and a taxi driver on the way to "Stress Road" The topic for the morning was about volunteerism, about helping others with their problems.

Taxi Uncle: "What will you do if you have a problem?"
Simple Bear: "I will want to solve the problem."
Taxi Uncle: "What if you can't solve the problem yourself?"
Simple Bear: "I will want to solve the problem."
Taxi Uncle: "But you can't. You can't solve the problem by yourself."
Simple Bear: "Before the consideration of whether one is able to solve the problem on his or her own; one must first think whether or not does he or she wants to solve the problem. As for me, if I have a problem, I will want to solve the problem; if you want to solve the problem, you will find a way, if you don't want to solve the problem, there is no way."
Taxi Uncle: o_O
Simple Bear: "If you want to solve your problem, then others can help you solve it if you can't; if you don't want to solve your problem, others can't help you solve your problem. There is a reason why it is called YOUR problem."
Taxi Uncle: "What if you don't want to solve your problem?"
Simple Bear: "If that is the case, then don't expect others to solve your problem."
Taxi Uncle: squint emoticon!

The taxi uncle and I had a good 30 minutes of laughter throughout the journey, he must be amused by a stressful, cranky old bear and his replies.

P.S. Heard about earthquakes in Nepal again and Japan, may all my friends and others in the region be safe and well. Hope there is no more disasters. May all be well and happy.

Missing Happiness

"Some of us have a tendency to miss happiness on the road, in our pursuit of happiness."
Simple Bear 21.04.2015.

落叶

落叶

落叶飘满地
才知命真谛
有始必有终
笑看红尘梦

简单熊 17.05.2015.

The Reasons for the Precepts

用了一个礼拜的时间看完了连续剧《百年虚云》。此剧诉说着虚云大师的一生。

剧中有这一段台词让我感动。

有人问虚云和尚, "何为戒?"
虚云回: "己所不欲 勿施于人。"

守戒, 是对自己与众生的慈悲。

Big size = Bear

Big size = Bear

During lunchtime today...

Colleague I: "Hey I think the guru who spoke about the secrets of happiness yesterday looks like you!"
*Other colleagues nod their heads in agreement
Simple Bear: o_O ?
Colleague I: "Come to think of it. You were on leave yesterday. Tell us the truth, did you moonlight as the speaker?" *laughs
Simple Bear: squint emoticon!
Colleague II: "Like Mystique!
Simple Bear: "I think if I am like Mystique, I would have done a better job of transforming myself so that no one would recognise me." squint emoticon!!!

The Blessings to Accomplish

"没有福报, 不能成事。"
海濤法師

The phrase struck me like a lightning bolt when I was listening to a Dharma talk by Venerable Hai Tao (from Taiwan) on Youtube last night. Sometimes, when we talked about good karmic results, we often talked about the possible good deeds and cultivation that we had done in our past lives which resulted in the positive results in this life, which had enabled us to continue doing the good deeds, that we are doing, which includes propagating the Dharma, doing volunteering work etc.

Imagine will we have the opportunity to learn the Dharma if we are born in a society without any teachings of the Dharma? Imagine will we have the opportunity to practice compassion by doing volunteering work if we had to worry constantly about our livelihood?

Since 2008, since my first encounter with Buddhism, as a religion till now, I knew it was difficult to propagate the Dharma through organizing Buddhist activities, and to get more people interested to start learning. I salute those of you, my friends who are working hard for the propagation of the Dharma.

For those of you who knew me long enough, you know I do get frustrated sometimes, and I had gotten my fair share of burnouts, and each time, I come back with renewed hope, my next burnout gets even worse. A friend once asked me, why it is so difficult to learn and propagate the Dharma, I replied (in my limited capacity) that the reason being it goes against the normative habitual tendencies of humans (of course, I may be wrong).

I admit, there are times in which I thought of just going at it alone, I knew I am more comfortable with that. I am neither a leader, nor an organizer of communities, I am just an unenlightened bear who preferred peace and quiet. If being spiritual and wanting peace is queer, then I am perfectly fine with being an eccentric element of the world. Every time, I feel like just going at it alone, I will always meet people and situations which gave me renewed reasons and aspirations to keep going.

I told people that I worked with on these projects (thank you everyone for the support), that we can only do our best, and whether there is any success or not, it is up to conditions. And perhaps, in a metaphysical sense, without good karmic results from past eons, the other conditions may not be right and even if we did our best (as part of the conditions) it is perfectly fine to let it go. I still stand by that but I forgotten to work on myself.

"The best way to propagate the Dharma is by being Dharma itself."
Simple Bear 10.04.2015.

We are living examples of the benefits of learning the Dharma. And the good karmic rewards (if I may term it this way, as a reward) of our practice, such as greater concentration, patience, compassion and wisdom (karmic rewards), we can use in running the projects for greater success, to propagate the Dharma to more people. If we do not practice ourselves, and still get mired in the whirlpool of greed, anger and delusions, how is anger and greed going to help in the success of the projects?

Even if at the end of the day, the project didn't reached its fullest potential despite of doing the best that we can possible do within the context (if our collective karmic rewards are not enough for the success of the projects), we still reap the karmic rewards of our own practice, in accepting the results through empathetical understanding, of others, of the impermanent nature of reality.

That is my own interpretation of Venerable Hai Tao's "没有福报, 不能成事" I am not expecting anyone to be perfect, I am too, an unenlightened bear, still running around in the foggy world of Samsara. But then again, what do I know, I am too like most of us still trapped in the fog of ignorance.

Grateful to everyone who has been kind enough in tolerating and accepting my unenlightened ways in body, speech and mind.

Grateful to everyone who has been helping me on the spiritual path of cultivation through their body, speech and mind.

May we all have the conditions to progress on our path towards enlightenment.

May we all have the conditions to continue practicing and propagating the Dharma through collective or individual efforts,

May we all be well and happy.

In the past one week, I have been experiencing a sense of peace, a renewed aspiration to continued doing the work in practicing and propagating the Dharma, doing charitable work. And I looked forward to working with more friends, and walking the path with everyone. It is like the Starfish theory, what matters isn't whether I can save everyone, what matters is the one that I am saving and I know, in this journey, there will be one who is saved, that person is me.

I can't paint.

I can't paint.

Sure I can draw a little but I sure can't paint.

I learnt something new about myself today.

Had a team retreat today. The theme for the painting activity was motivation behind our work in the social service sector.

I was allocated the alphabetical letter 'E' in 'LOVE' and my first work was a reminder of my inability to paint, and I decided to redo my theme and design.

'E' stands for energy, compassion which energises, like the nutrients necessary for a tree, which is in the shape of an 'E', symbolises the manifestation of compassion in form, i.e. my work in the social service sector.

The empty swing represents empathy, which doesn't differentiate between anyone. The moon in the sky represents inclusiveness for all, like the moonlight which shines on all without differentiation.

The tree stretching beyond, to the moon represents my aspiration of cultivating compassion for all.

When I drew the picture, I imagined myself, being carefree, sitting on the swing, enjoying the night wind and looking at the moon in the clear night sky, but still thinking of all who do not have the luxury to enjoy the freedom that I am enjoying. The loving kindness and compassion for those who are suffering arises naturally within.

May all be well and happy.

Suffering or No Suffering in Experiences?

"There is no suffering in experiences; it is in reacting to the experiences, that we suffer."
Simple Bear 09.04.2015.

Had a fruitful Dharma session just now especially the short meditation session, grateful to Phra Goh Chun Kiang for the kind teachings and guidance.

Thank you to Chloe Ci Hui Huang and TzyyHorng Goh for organising this Dharma session.

Delighted to be attending the Dharma session with friends

修养

“修养是对自己烦恼的减轻， 智慧的成长， 对他人也就是慈悲的增加； 慈悲的增加， 慈悲的成长， 也就是自我的成长。”
聖嚴法師

A simple wish, an act, a good start

A simple wish, an act, a good start

Decided at the end of Sunday's Symposium, to attend Professor Wang's two days class on the Lotus Sutra at Poh Ming Tse Temple. Yesterday night was the first class and in the class, she mentioned the accumulation of merits to facilitate conditions for cultivation.

I was inspired to share a little recent habit of mine, which evolves from a little paper 'Dana (giving) bank'. A few months ago, I had the privilege to attendTzu Chi Singapore 慈济基金会(新加坡分会) year-end blessings ceremony, and after the ceremony, I had gotten this paper bamboo-like Dana bank for me to put in loose change for charitable purposes. I placed it in my room and started putting in a little bit of coins in the first few days, and as time goes by, I started emptying my loose change in the Dana bank every morning.

I started observing that I felt better in the morning after having this habit. I started observing myself in the act of putting in the loose change and noticed an arising of delight within when I put in my loose change.

I made some changes to the habit:

1. I started making a mental note every morning when I put in the loose change, I wish that the loose change be of benefit to those who need them in the future, and may all be well and happy.

2. Taking note of any egoistic considerations when putting in the loose change especially on the days, when my loose change can be more than a couple of dollars in value and it is near month end when my bank account is slim; I had promised myself that I will put in all my loose change, be it ten cents or ten dollars in value. For me, it is a training (of the mind) to reduce egoistic thoughts and enhance altruistic ones.

As time goes by, I don't count the coins; there is only the action of putting in the coins and the thought of well wishes for those who may benefit, including myself.

I am the first person to benefit from this habit. I started feeling the delight which arises within and reduced tendencies to react negatively to others (even if it only last a few moments). The people in social interactions with me benefited from not having a grumpy old bear to deal with (you know how sometimes, we may wake up at the left (wrong) side of the bed).

And the delight, the well wishes from the giving, in my humble opinion, at least from what is understandable by ignorant me, that is precisely the type of merit, which is the result of the habit, that we need for enhancement of the conditions of our practice, a mental and emotional condition.

Grateful to Jimmy Ling for Inviting me to the event so that I can get the Dana bank, Dharma brothers and sisters at Tzi Chi for providing me with this wonderful opportunity to cultivate this habit, Professor Wang and brotherZenon Teh for the wonderful class which inspired this sharing.

I am grateful to all who made this possible.

May all be well and happy.

I am not crazy

I am not crazy

Boarded a bus at Eunos after Dharma class and sat beside an uncle at the back of the bus. As I sat down on the seat with my bag, I noticed that the uncle sitting next to me, is chanting softly with prayer beads in his hands. I smiled and thought to myself, "I am fortunate to be sitting beside an uncle who is doing his practice." smile emoticon

As soon as the uncle noticed me looking at him and his prayer beads, he quickly stop and tries to hide his prayer beads while still continuing his chanting softly. This thought came to my mind, "Maybe he is embarrassed to be seen as different from the norms of the general crowd in the current context of traveling on public transport."

I closed my eyes, and contemplated on the situation at hand. There are a few thoughts which came up in my mind:

1. It is paradoxically human nature to want to be different and not to be different; in this situation, the uncle may be affected by the wish, not to perceived as different and the incongruency of the wish not to be perceived as different and his own wish to practice causes dissonance, suffering. Am I too, affected by this worldly condition?

2. There is a wish to help alleviate the suffering of the uncle, to help him to continue practice in a more positive psychological condition.

3. It is an opportunity for me to practice too, in the current situation.

I took my prayer beads in my hands and started chanting silently, the name of Amitabha Buddha.

As the uncle saw me chanting for a while with my prayer beads moving as counters in my hands, he started to take out his prayer beads again and continue his chanting beside me. Delight filled my heart. smile emoticon

What will the rest of the commuters on the bus thinks? When they saw us chanting with our prayer beads on the bus. I am not concerned about the perceptions of others, what I am concerned about doing the right things and not only doing things right. Of course, I normally don't take out my prayer beads and chant on the bus to avoid people feeling uncomfortable with me doing that, I normally just chant silently in my mind but tonight, I think I have to do just that to help support the uncle who is doing his practice on the bus.

I am grateful to the uncle for the kind reminder to practice and giving rise to the courage within me to ignore the possible views of others.

Going even further on the application of courage in such a situation, it can be applied to counter the group cohesiveness and diffusion of responsibility elements of the bystander effect, which refers to the social phenomenon in which individuals do not offer any means of help to a victim when other people are present. The unwillingness to be different from a group (the bystanders in a situation starts to think of themselves as a temporary group, identifying themselves as a group in the situation), breaking the group cohesiveness, and apathy resulting from diffusion of responsibility, thinking that others will help the victim, hence there is no need for us to do so.

A lot of times, if we do observe, once we start to be the first one to help in a bystander situation, others in the group will quickly join in and the courage to be different, to do the right thing can perhaps save lives, not only the victims now and then but also future victims when the experiences of helping others in a bystander situations may encourage the growth of such courage in the bystanders who joined in to help in the situations. A little courage from us may have a ripple effect of compassion on the world.

May all have the conditions to cultivate the courage and compassion within us and to share the courage and compassion with all.

May all be well and happy.

And yes, maybe in the eyes of the world, I am a little crazy. Maybe, just maybe.

The Avalokiteśvara within

The Avalokiteśvara within

I had the good opportunity today to attend the Understanding Guan Yin Symposium organized by Poh Ming Tse, with my fellow friends at Nidana Youth Group.

Glad to catch up with old friends from PMT MUSICians and listen to their new compositions.

Took quite a few pages of notes and spent my evening going through them, doing some reflections and feel like sharing just a few points which I think will be personally helpful to my own spiritual cultivation.

1. Model for Emulation

Professor Reeves had mentioned in his presentation, that one of the roles of Guan Yin is being a model, for us to emulate her quality of boundless compassion, the wish and volition to alleviate the sufferings of others.

To become Avalokiteśvara Bodhisattva, we must bring forth the compassion to mind; when we chant the name of Avalokiteśvara Bodhisattva, we are (if I may posit) bringing to mind, and giving rise to compassion within us, the wish and volitional action to alleviate the sufferings of self and others. And the compassion for self and others may helped us go through the trials and tribulations of our lives.

2. Skillful Means of Propagating the Dharma

Professor Wang, in her presentation on the Buddhist teachings by Venerable 慧思 and 智顗, had mentioned that there are certain steps that the Buddha will take before he speaks the Dharma, he will:

i. Enter into meditation

ii. Observe the faculties of the people that he is speaking to.

iii. Decides on the skillful means required to teach the Dharma to the people to bring them closer on the spiritual path to enlightenment.

At this point of time, I had this thought, I am not the Buddha, how can I have the spiritual ability to observe the faculties of others in order to employ the necessary skillful means in my expressions of the Dharma to let others understand the Dharma.

I spend quite a while contemplating on the points, trying to make sense of it for individuals like me, ordinary beginners on the spiritual practice, to utilize the points for my own cultivation. Then it came to me, that I could in fact apply those steps in my own ways in propagation of the Dharma.

i. Spend some moments in mindfulness meditation (if time allows, a session before any sharing will be great; if not, spend some quiet moments to be aware of oneself)

ii. Observe the faculties (or mental and emotional states) of oneself; search within for the a few alarms signs to be addressed:
a. Is the intention to speak egoistic?; is the reason for speaking (of the Dharma) an attempt to assert one's perspectives on the other person without considering the mental and emotional states of the other person (observe by signs of body languages and linguistical signs), or for any other personal gains? Such as reputation?
b. Is there any empathy within? The positioning of oneself with the other person on equal (or almost equal) grounds without any judgements?
c. Is there any compassion? The objective of speaking the Dharma is for the good of the other person, to alleviate the suffering of the other person?

iii. Employment of the most suitable methods (within one's compassionate arsenal of methods) within one's limited capacity to speak of the Dharma, or through actions in the hope that the sufferings of others can be alleviated.

3. Connecting to Compassion

Brother Shen, in his presentation on devotional practice had mentioned that the compassion of the Buddhas and the Bodhisattvas are always in perfect alignment, always ready to be connected to us but we, people in the sea of Samsara, may not be aligned with them due to our ignorance and we need to make aspirations (to help ourselves) to be connected to the great compassion of the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas to alleviate our sufferings.

If I may posit, this concept of self proactivity in connecting to the compassion of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas can be applied in our daily lives in two different ways:

i. We need to take responsibility to ourselves and take actions (which includes being open minded to suggestions and the volition to change for the better) to be connected to the compassion of others, who are willing to help us (In the Lotus Sutra, it is mentioned that Avalokiteśvara Bodhisattva can manifest in different forms such as our friends or random strangers to help alleviate our sufferings); if we are unwilling to change for the better, to relieve ourselves of the sufferings, no matter how much help is offered, the sufferings remains.

ii. If we want to express compassion to our family and friends, understand that the same principle or concept applies; no matter how much we see them suffer and want to help. They must be willing to help themselves first, the wish to get out of the suffering cycles that they are in. If they are not willing to help, there is no need to be disappointed or worse get angry over it. Conditions are not optimal for the compassionate action to take place. We can only be patient and wait for the conditions to be right.

I am grateful for all the academics and fellow Dharma brothers and sisters who shared their knowledge and experience with us at the symposium today.

May we all give rise to the Avalokiteśvara Bodhisattva within us and live our lives in compassion and wisdom.

May all be well and happy.

One, as Ambassador of Faith

Happy Easter Sunday my Christian friends

A few days ago I had the opportunity to be part of a inter-faith dialogue with a Catholic priest and there was this question which was put to him on how do one attract youths to the Catholic faith.

His answer is one which I totally agree with. He said (and I am paraphrasing) to conduct oneself in proper accordance to one's faith which attracts them to the faith through inspiration.

We can't please everyone. And to attract not only youths, but youths with the right motivation, to engage in spiritual cultivation is important.

We are all, regardless of faiths, the ambassadors of our faiths. We are the key to the continuity of our faiths, our 'spiritual lineages', through our own conduct and practice.

Grateful for the candid and open sharing.

May we all have the motivation and conditions to fulfill our potential for goodness, as believers of our faiths, as humanity.

May all be well and happy.

Aspirations or Attainments?

Attended a Dharma talk by 常护法师 from Dharma Drum Mountain Singapore on Tuesday night. Left the talk with a few points which I spent my time reflecting and I thought of sharing.

1. When we are inspired and moved by the charitable, voluntary and spiritual works of others, we need to ask ourselves since the cause and work is so noble, so inspiring, why are we not doing the same good works that they are doing and be the inspiration ourselves?

2. When we commit ourselves to our work as employees, as volunteers, are we a positive addition to the team or a negative one?; when we criticise the works of others, are we better than them in terms of our commitment, our initiatives, our quality of work, our responses to the changes which happened?

3. When we criticise, are those criticism, a projection of our own sufferings, arising due to a need to protect the mind from the pain from acknowledging the inherent source of suffering.

4. When we start our work spiritual and volunteering, we started with selfless aspirations, and time passes by, we start to see achievements for our hard work done and expectations for future attainments may arises; we may start to get frustrated with our progression if we don't see any attainment of our expectations. Are we gradually confused with achievements and aspirations? Are we working for achievements or are we working for aspirations?

5. When we utilise methods to achieve our aspirations, the motivation behind efforts in utilising the methods, are we bound by and clinging on to the methods that we used and had gradually forgotten the aspirations which motivates us in the first place?

It seems all too human and I, have to admit I had let myself fallen carelessly time and time again. I am grateful for the points for me to reflect on it.

Thank you DDYP SG for organising the Dharma Talk. Do send my gratitude and appreciation to Venerable for his precious sharing and the volunteers for making this sharing possible.

May all be well and happy

Sacrifice for Happiness

Sacrifice for Happiness

A friend who has been feeling unhappy over the past few weeks came to talk to me.

Friend: "I am really unhappy. I want to be happy."
Simple Bear: "Are you willing to sacrifice, to give up what is yours to be happy."
Friend: *after thinking for a while (& looking at me suspiciously) "Yes. I am willing to sacrifice, to give up what ever it takes to be happy. So what do I need to give up?"
Simple Bear: "You just need to give up your unhappiness."
Friend: squint emoticon!

Why am I suffering?

When you are suffering, ask: "Why am I suffering? Why am I miserable?" Because you are clinging on to something! Find out what you are clinging to, to get to the source. It may be, "I'm unhappy because nobody loves me." That may be true, maybe nobody does love you but the unhappiness comes from wanting people to love you. Even if other people do love you, you will still have suffering if you think they are responsible for your happiness or suffering.
Ajahn Sumedho 
(Peace is a Simple Step, Page 29)

Remembering Mr Lee Kuan Yew #4

I cried.

When we recite the pledge and sang the national anthem together as one, as Singaporeans, as one Singapore, no matter where we are, bidding farewell to Mr Lee Kuan Yew.

I choke at the words, 'pledged ourselves as one united people', my fist was on my heart, feeling my heartbeats, and my tears start gushing out.

I was 14 when I first cried when singing the national anthem, I was part of the national day parade. I felt so proud to be a Singaporean. And now 18 years later, I cried again for the second time, this time for the reason why I am proud to be a Singaporean.

Farewell Mr Lee. Thank you for everything that you had done.

Majulah Singapura!

Remembering Mr Lee Kuan Yew #3

Writing my tribute to the late Mr Lee Kuan Yew at my office.

I guess the media sphere has been filled with tributes from all levels of Singapore society to the great man who had spent his life, making the hard decisions to ensure the survival and progression of Singapore.

The death of Mr Lee had led to a lot of contemplation these few days especially after reading his works, watching his interviews. He has been a great role model for a leader, tough and passionate with clarity; a husband, tender and loving; a Singaporean, resilient and patriotic.

There had been criticism over the decades but no one is perfect. The tears of Singaporeans are proof of his enduring legacy, his hard work, his life.

My gratitude again, Mr Lee.

Thank you.

Remembering Mr Lee Kuan Yew #2

The future of Singapore paying respect to the man who made the future positively possible.

I don't know. Somehow seeing these children paying respect to the late Mr Lee Kuan Yew makes me emotional.

How many of them will remember the hard work of our forefathers in building the foundation for their future?

Gratitude and passion may be what we need to keep Singapore going strong. Nothing lasts forever but we shall walk, from generation to generation on the road of continuous nation building till the end of the road with hope, passion for the future till conditions cease and gratitude for the road travelled as far as we have come to be.

Rest in peace Mr Lee.

We are eternally grateful to you and the founding fathers for spending your lives to make the future of Singapore possible for future generations. And we shall carry the burning will of you and our forefathers on the road ahead.

Majulah Singapura!

Remembering Mr Lee Kuan Yew

Remembering Mr Lee Kuan Yew

Woke up this morning to the sad news that Mr Lee had passed on. Was reading through the news and felt tears at the edge of my eyes.

“I always tried to be correct, not politically correct.” 
Mr Lee Kuan Yew

I had always admired Mr Lee for his resilience and determination as a leader. After taking up the leadership of societies, project committees, it is hard not to see Mr Lee as a model and be inspired by him. I fully appreciate his iron will in making tough decisions, which may not be popular but positive for the future and greater good. It is so easy to fall into the 'popular vote' trap and Mr Lee had been a great model of not doing so.

Tough times calls for tougher leaders.

"I am not saying that everything that I did was right but everything that I did was for an honourable purpose."
Mr Lee Kuan Yew

We don't know how much as a leader, he had sacrificed for his country, his passion. We may only see the tangible sacrifices but not the intangibles. No one is perfect, but when we are criticising the policies and questioning his decisions, ask ourselves, are our criticism based on our egoistic considerations? Have we considered the marco-impact on our environment, both the pros and cons of our preferred decisions. Can we live with our decisions? Could we have done better, given the conditions that Mr Lee and our founding fathers had faced? We criticise and complain without making the efforts to change the situation, both within ourselves and for the issues that we are concerned about.

I am grateful for the legacy that he and the rest of the founding fathers had left us. We can be out in the night with less concerns for a gunman or robber lurking in the corner. We have access to safe drinking waters. We don't live in slums, with social mobility issues. History will be the judge of his legacy.

"I have no regrets. I have spent my life, so much of it, building up this country. There's nothing more that I need to do. At the end of the day, what have I got? A successful Singapore. What have I given up? My life."
Mr Lee Kuan Yew

Another aspect which I am inspired by Mr Lee, was that he seeks no reciprocation of his efforts, even if people are not appreciative of his contributions, he was comforted perhaps, by knowing that he had made the right decisions, within the constraints of the conditions at that point of time.

In the words of our Prime Minister, "Singapore was his (Mr Lee Kuan Yew) abiding passion, he gave himself, in full measure, to Singapore." in the televised announcement of his father's death this morning.

It was his passion which made us who we are. As a Singaporean, I am proud to be associated with the great achievements that we, as Singapore had reached and also to have Mr Lee Kuan Yew as our founding father.

Thank you for everything you had done and sacrificed for Singapore Mr Lee Kuan Yew. Rest in peace, Sir and may you have a good rebirth.

A Just Cause for Motivation

"If the cause is just. If the cause is true. That is where the power comes from. "
Mr Yong Teck Meng, who emphasises the faith in the cause which we believe in, as a pivotal factor in engendering the necessary energy needed for the continuation of good work to help the less fortunate and fight against adversities.

Had the opportunity to listen to a humorous and inspirational sharing by Mr Yong, the National Director of Habitats for Humanity Singapore, a Christian organisation which helps to build homes for those who are in poverty around the world, during our divisional meeting today. He shared with us his own personal stories working with an inspirational Singaporean, Dr Ee Peng Liang, a pioneer, a champion for the social service sector in Singapore and how he inspired him to continue the good work.

A good sharing by Mr Yong to start the weekend and this question arises in my mind, "do I believe crazily enough in my cause?"

A lot of times, success in ventures or advocacy of a cause or idea doesn't only depend on deep rooted belief in the cause but without that deep belief, success is almost impossible. It is like an old oak tree; strong winds may blow against it, if the roots and trunk (belief in the cause) is strong, it may or may not survive the strong wind, but without a strong trunk and roots, it almost definitely won't survive the strong wind.

Been struggling through this period of poor health and impending burnout and this timely sharing is a good reminder of asking myself why.

And as quickly as this question arises, the answer (the aspiration) arises too.

May the belief in my wish to propagate the Dharma and help others be strengthen through my contemplative and practical experiences of the Dharma, and be strong enough to withstand the winds of change and worldly conditions.

May all be well and happy.

Grateful to Xinying Gwee, Jessica Lim, Cheryl Phoebe Liew and team for planning this divisional meeting and having Mr Yong to share with us.

May all have a peaceful weekend ahead.

Can't do Meditation?

Introduced meditation to a friend today.

After a short 10 minutes session...

Friend: "I don't think I can do it, I kept wanting to open my eyes."
Simple Bear: "That is normal for beginners. I was like this when I first started too. Are you aware that your mind is filled with wandering thoughts?"
Friend: "Yes I was aware of the wandering thoughts."
Simple Bear: "That is good enough. Most of the time, we are always chasing the wandering thoughts without knowing. Now at least, we knew we chased the thoughts."

Her response brought me to contemplate on my own practice.

Am I still running after my thoughts without knowing (most of the time)? Am I still indulging in my emotions without knowing? Am I still doing without knowing?

I am lucky. The next moment is a brand new moment to make progression.

And for this opportunity, I am grateful.

May all be well and happy.

Positive and Negative

"It is easy to be negative, hard to be positive and difficult to be at ease in the midst of changes in life, with ourselves and the world; so don't be the cause of, or spread negativity to others, be the cause, share and rejoice in the positivity of others and learn from others who are at ease within."
Simple Bear 16.03.2015.

Just the rain

Just the rain

The wind howl the thunder roar
And the rain quietly fell from the sky
I can't really remember when was the last time
I was in the rain feeling the rain drops on my face
Feeling the wind against my skin
I can only remember running away from the rain
Searching for a way out of the rain which batters
Neglecting the rain which lessens
Still the rain fell drop by drop with any judgement
The rain is just the rain

Simple Bear 16.03.2015.

Love, a boat

Love, a boat

I had the blessing of meeting 'polar bear' (that is what he call himself) and his father at an event at the Istana yesterday. Polar bear is a child with special needs and he was a delight to everyone who met him (despite the fact that he called me uncle at our first meeting squint emoticon! but he called me kor kor afterwards and no, I didn't force him to do so tongue emoticon )

I had the opportunity to have a conversation with his father, a man whose love for his child inspired me. He shared with me, his initial fear and now, hope for polar bear, and his gratitude for the help he gets from others. I can't say I fully understand what it is like to have a child with special needs, but being in the social service sector, and having the opportunities to interact with them through my work and volunteering, I have a glimpse of the many tribulations, both emotional and mental, that parents of children with special needs will have to go through.

And love, is the boat which carries them through.

Love to carry them through disappointments, anger and fear.

Disappointments are like the ocean on a wind-less day, The parents, if without a boat would have given in to the fatigue of trying to make themselves afloat in the vast ocean with any land in sight.

Anger and fear are like the waves in a storm. The parents if without a boat would have resigned themselves to the eventual fate of 'drowning' in the rage and anxiety.

And gratitude and hope, is like the sail and oars of the boat which carries them through.

Gratitude and hope to carry them through disappointments, anger and fear.

Even in a wind-less ocean (disappointments), the parents are still able to steer themselves towards their destination through gratitude for what they have, their child, born of love and hope for what positivity the future may hold. They are able to, through their own determination, steer themselves out of disappointments.

Even in a stormy ocean (anger and fear), the parents are still able to direct themselves out of danger, through steering the sail (gratitude) and moving the oars (hope), preventing themselves from being caught in the storm and possibly facing the eventuality of capsizing in the raging ocean waves.

They gave me love and hope for my work and volunteering in the social service sector. I am grateful for knowing them, for the conditions which allows me to know them last night.

I hope that love, hope and gratitude may always arises in them so it may help them through the ocean of life.

May they be well and happy.

May all be well and happy.

Peace, a Luxury or Necessity?

"Peace is not a luxury; it's a necessity. "
Simple Bear 12.03.2015

Irritation and Self-Awareness

"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."
C. G. Jung

Frustrated about tons of things today. A lot of thoughts ran through the mind.

Why can't they be more empathetic? Why can't he show more initiatives, demonstrate more leadership? Why can't she be more compassionate towards others? Why are they so egoistic, selfish and *argh...(and the list goes on, filling the mind with tons of negativity)

And then suddenly, the negativity died down, as fast as they had come.

In moments of negativity, I had became imbued with the very dispositions which I despised, the apathy and egoism. I had, in the very moment of being swept away by my habitual tendencies, became my worst nightmare.

The expectations of oneself had unconsciously transformed into expectations of others. I lost the ability to empathize in holding on to the value-laden label of empathy; uncompassionate in grabbing the concept of compassion; egoistic in clinging to the idea of non-egoism. The intellectual embrace of those conceptualizations had impeded, in the very moment, the experiencing of these experiences.

I started to focus on my breathing.

The anger (at others) turn to anger (at myself) and finally, laughter (at myself). It is as if time had stopped; there is joy in just breathing, knowing I am alive in this very moment.

Slowly the joy is replaced by warm feelings of gratitude. Gratitude to those who had given rise to these negativity, these irritations in me; without these irritations, I would not have understand myself better.

Don't expect yourself to be empathetic; be empathy itself. Don't expect to be compassionate; be compassion itself. Don't be the one with expectations; be one with it.

May all be well and happy.