Irritation and Self-Awareness

"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."
C. G. Jung

Frustrated about tons of things today. A lot of thoughts ran through the mind.

Why can't they be more empathetic? Why can't he show more initiatives, demonstrate more leadership? Why can't she be more compassionate towards others? Why are they so egoistic, selfish and *argh...(and the list goes on, filling the mind with tons of negativity)

And then suddenly, the negativity died down, as fast as they had come.

In moments of negativity, I had became imbued with the very dispositions which I despised, the apathy and egoism. I had, in the very moment of being swept away by my habitual tendencies, became my worst nightmare.

The expectations of oneself had unconsciously transformed into expectations of others. I lost the ability to empathize in holding on to the value-laden label of empathy; uncompassionate in grabbing the concept of compassion; egoistic in clinging to the idea of non-egoism. The intellectual embrace of those conceptualizations had impeded, in the very moment, the experiencing of these experiences.

I started to focus on my breathing.

The anger (at others) turn to anger (at myself) and finally, laughter (at myself). It is as if time had stopped; there is joy in just breathing, knowing I am alive in this very moment.

Slowly the joy is replaced by warm feelings of gratitude. Gratitude to those who had given rise to these negativity, these irritations in me; without these irritations, I would not have understand myself better.

Don't expect yourself to be empathetic; be empathy itself. Don't expect to be compassionate; be compassion itself. Don't be the one with expectations; be one with it.

May all be well and happy.