Sacrifice for Happiness

Sacrifice for Happiness

A friend who has been feeling unhappy over the past few weeks came to talk to me.

Friend: "I am really unhappy. I want to be happy."
Simple Bear: "Are you willing to sacrifice, to give up what is yours to be happy."
Friend: *after thinking for a while (& looking at me suspiciously) "Yes. I am willing to sacrifice, to give up what ever it takes to be happy. So what do I need to give up?"
Simple Bear: "You just need to give up your unhappiness."
Friend: squint emoticon!

Why am I suffering?

When you are suffering, ask: "Why am I suffering? Why am I miserable?" Because you are clinging on to something! Find out what you are clinging to, to get to the source. It may be, "I'm unhappy because nobody loves me." That may be true, maybe nobody does love you but the unhappiness comes from wanting people to love you. Even if other people do love you, you will still have suffering if you think they are responsible for your happiness or suffering.
Ajahn Sumedho 
(Peace is a Simple Step, Page 29)

Remembering Mr Lee Kuan Yew #4

I cried.

When we recite the pledge and sang the national anthem together as one, as Singaporeans, as one Singapore, no matter where we are, bidding farewell to Mr Lee Kuan Yew.

I choke at the words, 'pledged ourselves as one united people', my fist was on my heart, feeling my heartbeats, and my tears start gushing out.

I was 14 when I first cried when singing the national anthem, I was part of the national day parade. I felt so proud to be a Singaporean. And now 18 years later, I cried again for the second time, this time for the reason why I am proud to be a Singaporean.

Farewell Mr Lee. Thank you for everything that you had done.

Majulah Singapura!

Remembering Mr Lee Kuan Yew #3

Writing my tribute to the late Mr Lee Kuan Yew at my office.

I guess the media sphere has been filled with tributes from all levels of Singapore society to the great man who had spent his life, making the hard decisions to ensure the survival and progression of Singapore.

The death of Mr Lee had led to a lot of contemplation these few days especially after reading his works, watching his interviews. He has been a great role model for a leader, tough and passionate with clarity; a husband, tender and loving; a Singaporean, resilient and patriotic.

There had been criticism over the decades but no one is perfect. The tears of Singaporeans are proof of his enduring legacy, his hard work, his life.

My gratitude again, Mr Lee.

Thank you.

Remembering Mr Lee Kuan Yew #2

The future of Singapore paying respect to the man who made the future positively possible.

I don't know. Somehow seeing these children paying respect to the late Mr Lee Kuan Yew makes me emotional.

How many of them will remember the hard work of our forefathers in building the foundation for their future?

Gratitude and passion may be what we need to keep Singapore going strong. Nothing lasts forever but we shall walk, from generation to generation on the road of continuous nation building till the end of the road with hope, passion for the future till conditions cease and gratitude for the road travelled as far as we have come to be.

Rest in peace Mr Lee.

We are eternally grateful to you and the founding fathers for spending your lives to make the future of Singapore possible for future generations. And we shall carry the burning will of you and our forefathers on the road ahead.

Majulah Singapura!

Remembering Mr Lee Kuan Yew

Remembering Mr Lee Kuan Yew

Woke up this morning to the sad news that Mr Lee had passed on. Was reading through the news and felt tears at the edge of my eyes.

“I always tried to be correct, not politically correct.” 
Mr Lee Kuan Yew

I had always admired Mr Lee for his resilience and determination as a leader. After taking up the leadership of societies, project committees, it is hard not to see Mr Lee as a model and be inspired by him. I fully appreciate his iron will in making tough decisions, which may not be popular but positive for the future and greater good. It is so easy to fall into the 'popular vote' trap and Mr Lee had been a great model of not doing so.

Tough times calls for tougher leaders.

"I am not saying that everything that I did was right but everything that I did was for an honourable purpose."
Mr Lee Kuan Yew

We don't know how much as a leader, he had sacrificed for his country, his passion. We may only see the tangible sacrifices but not the intangibles. No one is perfect, but when we are criticising the policies and questioning his decisions, ask ourselves, are our criticism based on our egoistic considerations? Have we considered the marco-impact on our environment, both the pros and cons of our preferred decisions. Can we live with our decisions? Could we have done better, given the conditions that Mr Lee and our founding fathers had faced? We criticise and complain without making the efforts to change the situation, both within ourselves and for the issues that we are concerned about.

I am grateful for the legacy that he and the rest of the founding fathers had left us. We can be out in the night with less concerns for a gunman or robber lurking in the corner. We have access to safe drinking waters. We don't live in slums, with social mobility issues. History will be the judge of his legacy.

"I have no regrets. I have spent my life, so much of it, building up this country. There's nothing more that I need to do. At the end of the day, what have I got? A successful Singapore. What have I given up? My life."
Mr Lee Kuan Yew

Another aspect which I am inspired by Mr Lee, was that he seeks no reciprocation of his efforts, even if people are not appreciative of his contributions, he was comforted perhaps, by knowing that he had made the right decisions, within the constraints of the conditions at that point of time.

In the words of our Prime Minister, "Singapore was his (Mr Lee Kuan Yew) abiding passion, he gave himself, in full measure, to Singapore." in the televised announcement of his father's death this morning.

It was his passion which made us who we are. As a Singaporean, I am proud to be associated with the great achievements that we, as Singapore had reached and also to have Mr Lee Kuan Yew as our founding father.

Thank you for everything you had done and sacrificed for Singapore Mr Lee Kuan Yew. Rest in peace, Sir and may you have a good rebirth.

A Just Cause for Motivation

"If the cause is just. If the cause is true. That is where the power comes from. "
Mr Yong Teck Meng, who emphasises the faith in the cause which we believe in, as a pivotal factor in engendering the necessary energy needed for the continuation of good work to help the less fortunate and fight against adversities.

Had the opportunity to listen to a humorous and inspirational sharing by Mr Yong, the National Director of Habitats for Humanity Singapore, a Christian organisation which helps to build homes for those who are in poverty around the world, during our divisional meeting today. He shared with us his own personal stories working with an inspirational Singaporean, Dr Ee Peng Liang, a pioneer, a champion for the social service sector in Singapore and how he inspired him to continue the good work.

A good sharing by Mr Yong to start the weekend and this question arises in my mind, "do I believe crazily enough in my cause?"

A lot of times, success in ventures or advocacy of a cause or idea doesn't only depend on deep rooted belief in the cause but without that deep belief, success is almost impossible. It is like an old oak tree; strong winds may blow against it, if the roots and trunk (belief in the cause) is strong, it may or may not survive the strong wind, but without a strong trunk and roots, it almost definitely won't survive the strong wind.

Been struggling through this period of poor health and impending burnout and this timely sharing is a good reminder of asking myself why.

And as quickly as this question arises, the answer (the aspiration) arises too.

May the belief in my wish to propagate the Dharma and help others be strengthen through my contemplative and practical experiences of the Dharma, and be strong enough to withstand the winds of change and worldly conditions.

May all be well and happy.

Grateful to Xinying Gwee, Jessica Lim, Cheryl Phoebe Liew and team for planning this divisional meeting and having Mr Yong to share with us.

May all have a peaceful weekend ahead.

Can't do Meditation?

Introduced meditation to a friend today.

After a short 10 minutes session...

Friend: "I don't think I can do it, I kept wanting to open my eyes."
Simple Bear: "That is normal for beginners. I was like this when I first started too. Are you aware that your mind is filled with wandering thoughts?"
Friend: "Yes I was aware of the wandering thoughts."
Simple Bear: "That is good enough. Most of the time, we are always chasing the wandering thoughts without knowing. Now at least, we knew we chased the thoughts."

Her response brought me to contemplate on my own practice.

Am I still running after my thoughts without knowing (most of the time)? Am I still indulging in my emotions without knowing? Am I still doing without knowing?

I am lucky. The next moment is a brand new moment to make progression.

And for this opportunity, I am grateful.

May all be well and happy.

Positive and Negative

"It is easy to be negative, hard to be positive and difficult to be at ease in the midst of changes in life, with ourselves and the world; so don't be the cause of, or spread negativity to others, be the cause, share and rejoice in the positivity of others and learn from others who are at ease within."
Simple Bear 16.03.2015.

Just the rain

Just the rain

The wind howl the thunder roar
And the rain quietly fell from the sky
I can't really remember when was the last time
I was in the rain feeling the rain drops on my face
Feeling the wind against my skin
I can only remember running away from the rain
Searching for a way out of the rain which batters
Neglecting the rain which lessens
Still the rain fell drop by drop with any judgement
The rain is just the rain

Simple Bear 16.03.2015.

Love, a boat

Love, a boat

I had the blessing of meeting 'polar bear' (that is what he call himself) and his father at an event at the Istana yesterday. Polar bear is a child with special needs and he was a delight to everyone who met him (despite the fact that he called me uncle at our first meeting squint emoticon! but he called me kor kor afterwards and no, I didn't force him to do so tongue emoticon )

I had the opportunity to have a conversation with his father, a man whose love for his child inspired me. He shared with me, his initial fear and now, hope for polar bear, and his gratitude for the help he gets from others. I can't say I fully understand what it is like to have a child with special needs, but being in the social service sector, and having the opportunities to interact with them through my work and volunteering, I have a glimpse of the many tribulations, both emotional and mental, that parents of children with special needs will have to go through.

And love, is the boat which carries them through.

Love to carry them through disappointments, anger and fear.

Disappointments are like the ocean on a wind-less day, The parents, if without a boat would have given in to the fatigue of trying to make themselves afloat in the vast ocean with any land in sight.

Anger and fear are like the waves in a storm. The parents if without a boat would have resigned themselves to the eventual fate of 'drowning' in the rage and anxiety.

And gratitude and hope, is like the sail and oars of the boat which carries them through.

Gratitude and hope to carry them through disappointments, anger and fear.

Even in a wind-less ocean (disappointments), the parents are still able to steer themselves towards their destination through gratitude for what they have, their child, born of love and hope for what positivity the future may hold. They are able to, through their own determination, steer themselves out of disappointments.

Even in a stormy ocean (anger and fear), the parents are still able to direct themselves out of danger, through steering the sail (gratitude) and moving the oars (hope), preventing themselves from being caught in the storm and possibly facing the eventuality of capsizing in the raging ocean waves.

They gave me love and hope for my work and volunteering in the social service sector. I am grateful for knowing them, for the conditions which allows me to know them last night.

I hope that love, hope and gratitude may always arises in them so it may help them through the ocean of life.

May they be well and happy.

May all be well and happy.

Peace, a Luxury or Necessity?

"Peace is not a luxury; it's a necessity. "
Simple Bear 12.03.2015

Irritation and Self-Awareness

"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."
C. G. Jung

Frustrated about tons of things today. A lot of thoughts ran through the mind.

Why can't they be more empathetic? Why can't he show more initiatives, demonstrate more leadership? Why can't she be more compassionate towards others? Why are they so egoistic, selfish and *argh...(and the list goes on, filling the mind with tons of negativity)

And then suddenly, the negativity died down, as fast as they had come.

In moments of negativity, I had became imbued with the very dispositions which I despised, the apathy and egoism. I had, in the very moment of being swept away by my habitual tendencies, became my worst nightmare.

The expectations of oneself had unconsciously transformed into expectations of others. I lost the ability to empathize in holding on to the value-laden label of empathy; uncompassionate in grabbing the concept of compassion; egoistic in clinging to the idea of non-egoism. The intellectual embrace of those conceptualizations had impeded, in the very moment, the experiencing of these experiences.

I started to focus on my breathing.

The anger (at others) turn to anger (at myself) and finally, laughter (at myself). It is as if time had stopped; there is joy in just breathing, knowing I am alive in this very moment.

Slowly the joy is replaced by warm feelings of gratitude. Gratitude to those who had given rise to these negativity, these irritations in me; without these irritations, I would not have understand myself better.

Don't expect yourself to be empathetic; be empathy itself. Don't expect to be compassionate; be compassion itself. Don't be the one with expectations; be one with it.

May all be well and happy.

Happy?

Happy?

Friend: "Why is being happy so difficult?"
Simple Bear: "Maybe it is because we mistaken pleasures for happiness."
Friend: "What is happiness to you then?"
Simple Bear: "What is not happiness to you?"
Friend: "Too much to list."
Simple Bear: "That's why."
Friend: -_-!

May all be well and happy.

Passion Essential

Last week, we were asked to choose the most important value for us in our organizational culture, as employees working in the social service sector.

Without hesitation, my first choice is passion and to me, the importance of this value transcend organizational culture.

Passion to make a positive difference in the lives of our beneficiaries, the less fortunate in our society.

Passion to make a positive difference in the society, by being a catalyst of positive change in enhancing empathy and compassion for our community, and on a large scale of things, humanity.

Passion to make a positive difference in our lives; enriching our lives with love, empathy and compassion.

Passion to make a positive impact in this world, by starting with ourselves; for one to spread happiness, he or she must first be happy and I refer to happiness, as the fulfilment of human potential for goodness, beyond hedonism.

Yes. Maybe some of you may think that I am too idealistic for my own good. But then again, isn't positive change in this world of ours always effected by passionate individuals?

I know I may not be able to achieve much in my life but I am glad that at least I tried to do something. If there is someone who is positively impacted by my efforts, I have not lived this life in vain. And I know, there is at least one who had benefitted; that person is me.

Passion, maybe fragile but like the sparks of a flame, you need to fan it and supply it with woods to make it a raging fire.

May all be well and happy.

Being Right

"Everyone desires to be right all the time; it is the desire which leads us to be wrong about being right."
Simple Bear 02.03.2015.