Maybe they won't but I will

Maybe they won't notice but I did

In life, we often underestimate the impact of, at first glance, insignificant thoughts, actions which later proved to be significant to our lives.

I was rushing from the Institute of Mental Health today, where I had a volunteer retreat just moments, to my next appointment when I discovered I had a marker in my pocket. The marker was used to write down thoughts during the retreat and it belongs to the facilitation organization which was hired to run the retreat.

I was in a moral dilemma. I was already quite a distance away from the venue where they held the retreat and I was in a rush for time. I deliberated between the thought of going back to return the marker and run the risk of being late for my appointment or just continue on with my appointment without returning the marker.

"They won't even notice it." this was the rationalising thought in my mind If I am going to not return the marker.

"But I did." it was the thought of my conscience. In the moment, this contemplation arises, "if I allowed myself to indulge in this seemingly harmless act, the act may pave the way for other similar acts, this little act may become a habitual tendency and this tendency may become my personality and this personality, my fate." By this seemingly little harmless act of indulgence, I had opened the door to hell, to sufferings.

I returned the marker back to the facilitators and they were surprised that I would come all the way back just to return the marker but I was glad. Glad that I didn't take what is not given and for the contemplation which arises in response. We have overestimated our moral strength and underestimate that little act of indulgence. Another good example is dieting. We allowed ourselves more cheat meals in a give time period, thinking that such small acts won't impact the dieting plan and before we know it, we had fallen to the army of greed.

I began to look at other habitual tendencies and seemingly harmless thoughts or acts that I have and hopefully have the conditions and strength to change them little by little, thought by thought, act by act.

By a drop of water at a time, the ocean is filled.

May all be well and happy.