Fighting off the Bandit
The Bandit
He comes alone in the ignorance of the night
Catches you unaware
And overpower you in a second
He robs you of your joy
And cast you to your mind
Silently he flee as swiftly as he came
Only his shadow of bitterness remains
In the ignorance of the night
Simple Bear 03.03.2016.
I went to the bakery to grab some bread for snacks this afternoon after
my appointment at the hospital. As I was walking through the
neighborhood, I saw a physically challenged man on a wheelchair, selling
tissue papers. There wasn't a lot of people around. It was a weekday
late afternoon. And those who walked past him, ignored his presence. He
looked listless and fatigued.
I greeted him, took out 2 dollars
and put it in his hands. I gave him a pat on the shoulders and told him
to grab himself a nice cup of coffee if he needs one. He looked up at
me and forced a weak smile.
I left.
When I reached the
bakery, this thought came to my mind, maybe the guy is hungry and
perhaps, he hadn't had much to eat. I am fortunate to be able to buy my
own meal.
I decided to buy an additional two bread with chicken luncheon meat.
I went back to him with the bread. I asked whether he is alright with
chicken bread. He smiled and said yes, I could see his eyes sparkled at
the sight of the food. He must be starving.
Before he started eating, he looked at me again and asked whether I can spare him another two dollars.
'Is he trying to take advantage of me?'
The thought ran through my mind like the flash. I caught hold of myself
having the thought and laughed. This must be the habitual tendency that
I have in response to such situations. This is my ego, the Mara who is
tempting me.
This thought born out of ego is like the bandit. If
I allow it to catch me unaware, he overpowers me and robs me of my
momentary happiness of sharing. What will be left of this 'robbery' will
be one of bitterness and suffering.
I could not allow it to do so.
Self-awareness is my shield against the attacks of the bandit. Thoughts
born out of altruism are like my bodyguards. They fight off the bandit,
forcing them to disappear in the dimension of flux.
These
thought arose in me. Maybe he need the money to feed his family. Maybe
today was a difficult day for him. Maybe he needs the money to pay for
his medical conditions.
As soon as these thoughts arose, the thought of the possibility of him taking advantage of me was gone.
I laughed at myself again. What am I finding the reasons to manage my
cognitive dissonance? If my intention is to help, there is no need for
other reasons.
I gave him the two dollars that he asked for, thanked him for the opportunity and left with feelings of empathy and gratitude.
In retrospection, he is like a teacher who taught me this precious
lesson. No matter what his reason was, or whether or not he was taking
advantage of me. I wish him well and happy.
May all be well and happy
Simple Bear 03.03.2016.
Thursday, March 3, 2016
Living and Leaving
Living and Leaving
One and a half week after the car accident, I can still remember that night.
I could, still vividly see the image of the air bag in front of me, the smell of burning mechanical parts of the car, feeling the pain in my body and hearing the non-stop buzzing sound in my ear.
And the voice of my friend shouting at me to get out of the car.
The first thought which came to my mind, was I hope everyone is alright.
The next thought as I was in the midst of flashing lights of the police cars and ambulances, was the question, if it was time for me to leave this lifetime behind in that moment of time, was I ready?
I was (to my surprise).
Looking back at the things that I had done in the last ten years of my adult life. There was no regrets.
Looking at the person that I had grown to be, although I think I could have been a better person but again, I had no regrets being who I am now.
Death is a constant topic which I contemplated on. There are nights where I make peace with the negativity which I was suffering from during the day and at the end of the night, before I close my eyes, I had the assurance to myself that I was ready to go if the night was the last night.
And in the morning when I wake up, I remind myself with gratitude that today is a gift for me to enjoy, and for me to share.
The accident and the pain that I am feeling now are good constant reminders of the impermanence of life and of the current priorities in my life. It is a time for me to spend more time in reflection and emerge a more aware Simple Bear.
For now, I am grateful for being alive. I am grateful for my friends being safe. I am grateful that no one was seriously injured in the accident.
May all be well and happy
With Loving-Kindness
Simple Bear 03.03.2016.
One and a half week after the car accident, I can still remember that night.
I could, still vividly see the image of the air bag in front of me, the smell of burning mechanical parts of the car, feeling the pain in my body and hearing the non-stop buzzing sound in my ear.
And the voice of my friend shouting at me to get out of the car.
The first thought which came to my mind, was I hope everyone is alright.
The next thought as I was in the midst of flashing lights of the police cars and ambulances, was the question, if it was time for me to leave this lifetime behind in that moment of time, was I ready?
I was (to my surprise).
Looking back at the things that I had done in the last ten years of my adult life. There was no regrets.
Looking at the person that I had grown to be, although I think I could have been a better person but again, I had no regrets being who I am now.
Death is a constant topic which I contemplated on. There are nights where I make peace with the negativity which I was suffering from during the day and at the end of the night, before I close my eyes, I had the assurance to myself that I was ready to go if the night was the last night.
And in the morning when I wake up, I remind myself with gratitude that today is a gift for me to enjoy, and for me to share.
The accident and the pain that I am feeling now are good constant reminders of the impermanence of life and of the current priorities in my life. It is a time for me to spend more time in reflection and emerge a more aware Simple Bear.
For now, I am grateful for being alive. I am grateful for my friends being safe. I am grateful that no one was seriously injured in the accident.
May all be well and happy
With Loving-Kindness
Simple Bear 03.03.2016.
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
Unexpected
Unexpected
It was not what I expected.
I looked at her 'grumpy' face and the first thought which comes to my mind was, 'I must make it a point to smile at her and say hi to her every time I see her.'
There was a couple of times when I went to the pantry for my caffeine fix in the morning, I would see an elderly auntie cleaning the pantry, filling up the coffee and tea sachets etc. And each time when we make eye contact, I will smile and say hi to her but she would always respond with a solemn, grumpy kind of look.
Yesterday was no difference.
There was no anger at her non-responsiveness, just sadness that she is unable to smile in that very moment with me.
It reminded me of a similar experience a few days ago, I was having lunch with a colleague, and when we said thank you to an elderly auntie who cleaned our table, her response was similar.
And we had a good discussion on how being polite and kind to others is a personal choice, independent of others' responses in return. There is no expectations of reciprocity. If there should be a response on our side in return, it should be one, of compassion and empathy. In that very moment, the person is unable to experience happiness.
Do you remember, in our past experiences, how often when we are angry, or sad, or feeling just negative, we tend to ignore the kindness of others, the smiles of our friends, our family. The same goes for them, maybe they are stressed, maybe they are tired, maybe they are depressed. And sometimes, when the conditions are right, a smile generated by kindness from us makes a difference to their lives just like how sometimes, kindness from others makes a difference in ours.
So my friends, let us all make the kind choice to be kind even if the world may not respond kindly to it. Being kind makes a difference first and foremost, to ourselves, our worlds and then to others.
May the aunties and uncles be well and happy.
May all be well and happy.
With loving-kindness
Simple Bear 01.03.2016.
It was not what I expected.
I looked at her 'grumpy' face and the first thought which comes to my mind was, 'I must make it a point to smile at her and say hi to her every time I see her.'
There was a couple of times when I went to the pantry for my caffeine fix in the morning, I would see an elderly auntie cleaning the pantry, filling up the coffee and tea sachets etc. And each time when we make eye contact, I will smile and say hi to her but she would always respond with a solemn, grumpy kind of look.
Yesterday was no difference.
There was no anger at her non-responsiveness, just sadness that she is unable to smile in that very moment with me.
It reminded me of a similar experience a few days ago, I was having lunch with a colleague, and when we said thank you to an elderly auntie who cleaned our table, her response was similar.
And we had a good discussion on how being polite and kind to others is a personal choice, independent of others' responses in return. There is no expectations of reciprocity. If there should be a response on our side in return, it should be one, of compassion and empathy. In that very moment, the person is unable to experience happiness.
Do you remember, in our past experiences, how often when we are angry, or sad, or feeling just negative, we tend to ignore the kindness of others, the smiles of our friends, our family. The same goes for them, maybe they are stressed, maybe they are tired, maybe they are depressed. And sometimes, when the conditions are right, a smile generated by kindness from us makes a difference to their lives just like how sometimes, kindness from others makes a difference in ours.
So my friends, let us all make the kind choice to be kind even if the world may not respond kindly to it. Being kind makes a difference first and foremost, to ourselves, our worlds and then to others.
May the aunties and uncles be well and happy.
May all be well and happy.
With loving-kindness
Simple Bear 01.03.2016.
Monday, February 29, 2016
Regret
Regret
"Like fallen leaves in Autumn, regrets nourishes the land which give birth to life in Spring; but prior to the arrival of Spring, one may need to endure the bitterness of Winter."
Simple Bear 29.02.2016.
"Like fallen leaves in Autumn, regrets nourishes the land which give birth to life in Spring; but prior to the arrival of Spring, one may need to endure the bitterness of Winter."
Simple Bear 29.02.2016.
Thursday, February 11, 2016
Dealing With Unknown
Dealing With Unknown
"There is two ways to deal with the unknown. Fear and hope. The decision lies in your belief, and more importantly, your free will."
Simple Bear 11.02.2016.
"There is two ways to deal with the unknown. Fear and hope. The decision lies in your belief, and more importantly, your free will."
Simple Bear 11.02.2016.
Wednesday, February 3, 2016
Monday, February 1, 2016
Know thy reactions
Know thy reactions
"I can't believe no one press the bell for me!" A voice imbued with rising anger was screaming inside my head.
I felt the increasing physiological tension in my body, the increasing heart rate, the tightening of the skin etc.
This was anger.
And I am falling right into the pit of hot erupting anger 'lava'.
A minute before all these happened, I was on the bus preparing to align at the bus stop. The uncle standing in front of me was carrying a big bag on his back, blocking the way and took some time to put down his bag and let me pass towards the bus door. As I was reaching the door, the door started closing and I quickly reached for the nearest bell but the bus still drove off. The passengers near me looked at me with looks of 'why didn't the bus driver open the door but drove off instead?"
I was more frustrated by the indifference of the rest of the passengers at that moment of time.
Then I noticed the thought of 'blaming the passengers for not pressing the bell for me when I was struggling to get pass the uncle with the big bag.'
It was the 'seed' of suffering. I focused on my breath, the air flowing in and out of my body.
It was my normative reaction to the situation. If I had followed the thought, it could have grown into thoughts of blaming the uncle for not being fast enough to unload his bag, for bringing a big bag and the bus driver for not stopping despite me already at the door, struggling with the door bell; and also thoughts of going to make a complaint against the bus driver.
Frustrations will grow and the consequences would be only more sufferings for me.
The question, on the surface now is the worth of continuing with the negativity. Is it worth it? The result was only having to walk a bus stop back home but if I had followed through with all those negative thoughts, the result would be me not being able to enjoy my dinner, watching the latest episode of 'Running Man' and having a good sleep.
The answer to the question? It is not worth it.
Looking deeper within myself, such egocentric reactions are still normative for me. I have not made any much progress in terms of changing my reactions to those of empathy; the awareness is not good enough to stop the reactionary thought and respond with accepting and empathetic thoughts instead.
I reacted. I should have responded instead.
I still have a long way to go. Yesterday night episode was a good learning experience and I am grateful.
Today is a new beginning to be better than the past.
May all have the awareness to respond to situations with positivity. May all be well and happy.
With loving-kindness (I need tons of it)
Simple Bear 01.02.2016
"I can't believe no one press the bell for me!" A voice imbued with rising anger was screaming inside my head.
I felt the increasing physiological tension in my body, the increasing heart rate, the tightening of the skin etc.
This was anger.
And I am falling right into the pit of hot erupting anger 'lava'.
A minute before all these happened, I was on the bus preparing to align at the bus stop. The uncle standing in front of me was carrying a big bag on his back, blocking the way and took some time to put down his bag and let me pass towards the bus door. As I was reaching the door, the door started closing and I quickly reached for the nearest bell but the bus still drove off. The passengers near me looked at me with looks of 'why didn't the bus driver open the door but drove off instead?"
I was more frustrated by the indifference of the rest of the passengers at that moment of time.
Then I noticed the thought of 'blaming the passengers for not pressing the bell for me when I was struggling to get pass the uncle with the big bag.'
It was the 'seed' of suffering. I focused on my breath, the air flowing in and out of my body.
It was my normative reaction to the situation. If I had followed the thought, it could have grown into thoughts of blaming the uncle for not being fast enough to unload his bag, for bringing a big bag and the bus driver for not stopping despite me already at the door, struggling with the door bell; and also thoughts of going to make a complaint against the bus driver.
Frustrations will grow and the consequences would be only more sufferings for me.
The question, on the surface now is the worth of continuing with the negativity. Is it worth it? The result was only having to walk a bus stop back home but if I had followed through with all those negative thoughts, the result would be me not being able to enjoy my dinner, watching the latest episode of 'Running Man' and having a good sleep.
The answer to the question? It is not worth it.
Looking deeper within myself, such egocentric reactions are still normative for me. I have not made any much progress in terms of changing my reactions to those of empathy; the awareness is not good enough to stop the reactionary thought and respond with accepting and empathetic thoughts instead.
I reacted. I should have responded instead.
I still have a long way to go. Yesterday night episode was a good learning experience and I am grateful.
Today is a new beginning to be better than the past.
May all have the awareness to respond to situations with positivity. May all be well and happy.
With loving-kindness (I need tons of it)
Simple Bear 01.02.2016
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