What (Who) Do You See?
I woke up this morning to receive a photo taken last night by my dear friend.
As I was looking at this photo of myself, this question arose.
Who do I see?
When this photo was taken, I (almost instinctively) told Jiahe that
this photo is 'unglamorous' and should be deleted. Whereas Jiahe thinks
that this photo is candid and is taken well.
This leads to the question of how do we individually see this world through the subjective lens (eyes, heart and mind) of ours.
In changes, there are normatively, for most of us, two sides (like the
two sides of a coin). There are always the positive side and of course,
the flip side (or the negative side).
Imagine, if we woke up on
the 'left' (not the right) side of the bed, we have a tendency to
perceive the changes in a more negative light rather than the positive.
When I say positive and negative, I am not referring to be purely
either optimistic or pessimistic, I am talking about it in the aspect of
personal growth or regression.
When we meet with changes e.g.
meeting someone who we dislike, the presence of the individual acts as a
retrieval cue for past negative experiences associated and engender
negative thoughts in response to his or her actions or merely just his
or her presence; those 'internal workings' adds to the reinforcement of
the negative associations and further aggravate the memories of the
individual. This process, for most of us, is almost automated in our
mind.
Friday, March 3, 2017
Saturday, February 18, 2017
Sunlight
Sunlight
We only see the Sun during the daytime but the Sun shines every single moment even when we are in the night.
Just like the Sun shines every moment, we should cultivate the awareness and goodness within every single moment; regardless of daytime (being in the company and seen by others) or night (being alone and unseen by others).
We only see the Sun during the daytime but the Sun shines every single moment even when we are in the night.
Just like the Sun shines every moment, we should cultivate the awareness and goodness within every single moment; regardless of daytime (being in the company and seen by others) or night (being alone and unseen by others).
There may be cloudy days. There may be storms. There even be eclipses sometimes.
But the Sun still shines.
Let the light shine forth. Cause even in the night, the Moon reflects the light from the Sun.
Simple Bear 18.02.2017.
But the Sun still shines.
Let the light shine forth. Cause even in the night, the Moon reflects the light from the Sun.
Simple Bear 18.02.2017.
Sunday, February 12, 2017
My First Crush
My First Crush
Today is the weekend before Valentines Day
A rainy day. A perfect day to think about love.
Sitting in a quiet corner in a cafe, having a cup of hot tea with Yiruma songs on my music play list. It is a good nice time to be thinking and reflecting about my love stories (real or imagined).
I came across a familiar profile on social media last night. She is someone I have not met in almost 20 years.
She is my first crush in my teens (*ok this is the time where you will see a pinkish blushing bear sitting in a cafe)
As I was laughing at the memories which arose within, a question arises, "Why did I had a crush on her?"
What qualities of hers or should I say what perceived qualities of hers did I feel in with?
Was it her long flowing hair? Was it her gentle demeanor? Was it her kindness to everyone around her? Was it her lovely smile?
Two decades had passed and my memories of her faded with time until last night, when I saw a profile picture which seems to jolt a memory stashed away in two decades worth of memories.
Was it love? Was it infatuation?
Was it just a teenage boy looking for someone to test out, in application of a concept he called love?
(At this point of time, someone would have shouted at me to stop thinking so much)
It is interesting. Isn't it?
Why do we love and how do we choose who to love?
Why? Maybe we needed to love someone and hope to be loved. Maybe we needed to be loved and had to love someone.
In terms of choice, maybe it is random, stratified or maybe just out of normative convenience due to our personal need to want to be loved.
Alas love, you give me a headache and sometimes, a heartache.
Love, such a mystery.
Today is the weekend before Valentines Day
A rainy day. A perfect day to think about love.
Sitting in a quiet corner in a cafe, having a cup of hot tea with Yiruma songs on my music play list. It is a good nice time to be thinking and reflecting about my love stories (real or imagined).
I came across a familiar profile on social media last night. She is someone I have not met in almost 20 years.
She is my first crush in my teens (*ok this is the time where you will see a pinkish blushing bear sitting in a cafe)
As I was laughing at the memories which arose within, a question arises, "Why did I had a crush on her?"
What qualities of hers or should I say what perceived qualities of hers did I feel in with?
Was it her long flowing hair? Was it her gentle demeanor? Was it her kindness to everyone around her? Was it her lovely smile?
Two decades had passed and my memories of her faded with time until last night, when I saw a profile picture which seems to jolt a memory stashed away in two decades worth of memories.
Was it love? Was it infatuation?
Was it just a teenage boy looking for someone to test out, in application of a concept he called love?
(At this point of time, someone would have shouted at me to stop thinking so much)
It is interesting. Isn't it?
Why do we love and how do we choose who to love?
Why? Maybe we needed to love someone and hope to be loved. Maybe we needed to be loved and had to love someone.
In terms of choice, maybe it is random, stratified or maybe just out of normative convenience due to our personal need to want to be loved.
Alas love, you give me a headache and sometimes, a heartache.
Love, such a mystery.
Friday, February 10, 2017
What can I gift
The night was quiet. The soft breeze running through my almost 'hairless' head. After an entire day of work, I looked up to the night sky and saw a bright moon shining bright.
Calmness descended upon me. I was enjoying the brief moments in the moonlight, contemplating on my life.
This question arose within, "What can I gift? Even when I am poor?"
The answer arose gently within, love.
"Love is a rare, marvellous gift. We can engender it in abundance within; and it nourishes us when we gift."
Simple Bear 10.02.2017.
Of course, love is a subject which definition had been debated since it had came into existence in people's minds. Love, in this context, refers to kindness and compassion.
Love, may just be a kind word on a frustrating day. A helping hand on a difficult day. A smile on a rainy day and sometimes, a hug on a dreadful day.
We can 'afford' it as a gift for others even when we are poor financially.
Love and its expressions are rare and marvellous. It requires the person who gifts, to go beyond one's ego, self-interests, one's pain and sufferings etc. And it nourishes one within. The presence of love within means an momentary absence of pain and sufferings even if it is temporary.
Love is a gift for others as well as a gift for ourselves.
Kindness arose. Compassion arose. Gratitude arose.
Some may ask what if others doesn't want the gift from us? Love is a lovely gift for others but it is an even more lovely gift for oneself.
It takes the arising of momentary awareness and transcendence of one's pain and sufferings to see the gift as a gift and to accept it so; embracing the love as it is.
How rare and marvellous it is to be able to experience love as it is.
It is indeed wonderful.
I looked up to the night sky. The moon is still there in the sky, shining bright.
Have a lovely night everyone.
May all be well and happy
Simple Bear 10.02.2017.
The night was quiet. The soft breeze running through my almost 'hairless' head. After an entire day of work, I looked up to the night sky and saw a bright moon shining bright.
Calmness descended upon me. I was enjoying the brief moments in the moonlight, contemplating on my life.
This question arose within, "What can I gift? Even when I am poor?"
The answer arose gently within, love.
"Love is a rare, marvellous gift. We can engender it in abundance within; and it nourishes us when we gift."
Simple Bear 10.02.2017.
Of course, love is a subject which definition had been debated since it had came into existence in people's minds. Love, in this context, refers to kindness and compassion.
Love, may just be a kind word on a frustrating day. A helping hand on a difficult day. A smile on a rainy day and sometimes, a hug on a dreadful day.
We can 'afford' it as a gift for others even when we are poor financially.
Love and its expressions are rare and marvellous. It requires the person who gifts, to go beyond one's ego, self-interests, one's pain and sufferings etc. And it nourishes one within. The presence of love within means an momentary absence of pain and sufferings even if it is temporary.
Love is a gift for others as well as a gift for ourselves.
Kindness arose. Compassion arose. Gratitude arose.
Some may ask what if others doesn't want the gift from us? Love is a lovely gift for others but it is an even more lovely gift for oneself.
It takes the arising of momentary awareness and transcendence of one's pain and sufferings to see the gift as a gift and to accept it so; embracing the love as it is.
How rare and marvellous it is to be able to experience love as it is.
It is indeed wonderful.
I looked up to the night sky. The moon is still there in the sky, shining bright.
Have a lovely night everyone.
May all be well and happy
Simple Bear 10.02.2017.
Thursday, January 19, 2017
A want to love or a need to love, that is the question
A want to love or a need to love, that is the question
As I approach my mid 30s, single and unattached and since Chinese New Year is just round the corner, a lot of people had showed their concerns for me by asking me on my relationship status; and some had offered to introduce nice potential partners to me.
I am grateful for the concern. Being the eccentric bear that I am, it engenders a question in my mind, why love?
Do we love someone because we want to love someone? Or do we love someone because we need to be loved by someone?
For some of us, there is no clear answer to that question. We can't differentiate between wanting to love and needing to love; love, perhaps to some, is a mixture of both need and want. Just like sometimes, I can't differentiate whether I am a bear or a human.
:D
Does us wanting to love someone, a result of us needing to be loved by someone? And that induces pain and frustrations; reciprocity in love is rarely as expected.
Going beyond just the normative definition of relationship, we look at friendship and kinship; the question remains the same. Do we love our family and friends because we need to be loved or do we just love them because we want to love?
We expects reciprocity and we suffers sometimes. Is it wrong to expect? It is not wrong but we almost certainly will suffer sometimes.
Want or need to love, that perhaps is the question with no definite answer for most of us.
And, love changes. From a want to a need; from a need to a want, sometimes, over time.
I can't even define love; but that is a question for another day.
May everyone have a lovely day ahead.
With love
Simple Bear 19.01.2017.
As I approach my mid 30s, single and unattached and since Chinese New Year is just round the corner, a lot of people had showed their concerns for me by asking me on my relationship status; and some had offered to introduce nice potential partners to me.
I am grateful for the concern. Being the eccentric bear that I am, it engenders a question in my mind, why love?
Do we love someone because we want to love someone? Or do we love someone because we need to be loved by someone?
For some of us, there is no clear answer to that question. We can't differentiate between wanting to love and needing to love; love, perhaps to some, is a mixture of both need and want. Just like sometimes, I can't differentiate whether I am a bear or a human.
:DDoes us wanting to love someone, a result of us needing to be loved by someone? And that induces pain and frustrations; reciprocity in love is rarely as expected.
Going beyond just the normative definition of relationship, we look at friendship and kinship; the question remains the same. Do we love our family and friends because we need to be loved or do we just love them because we want to love?
We expects reciprocity and we suffers sometimes. Is it wrong to expect? It is not wrong but we almost certainly will suffer sometimes.
Want or need to love, that perhaps is the question with no definite answer for most of us.
And, love changes. From a want to a need; from a need to a want, sometimes, over time.
I can't even define love; but that is a question for another day.
May everyone have a lovely day ahead.
With love
Simple Bear 19.01.2017.
Monday, January 16, 2017
You are hot and you are cold
You are hot and you are cold
Friend: "I am disappointed in you."
Simple Bear: "Disappointed?"
Friend: "You seem so cold to me?"
Simple Bear: "Am I supposed to be warm?"
Friend: "I mean, since you are talking about love and kindness, aren't you supposed to be warm?"
Simple Bear: "I am not perfect, my dear. And the image of a warm and fuzzy bear is your expectations of me."
Friend: "Sorry. I didn't mean to."
Simple Bear: "There is no need to be sorry. I am grateful for you telling me. It is an inspiration."
Friend: "Inspiration for ?"
Simple Bear: "I, too falls into the subconscious trappings of having expectations and expecting the expectations to be true and disappointed when it is not. We expects others to be our expectations and in the process, fails to understand them from their perspectives."
Friend: "You mean we should not have expectations?"
Simple Bear: "We can have wholesome expectations, of ourselves and strives to be so. Some may say we won't be disappointed if we don't have expectations but the truth is, can we not have any expectations?"
Friend: "Maybe we can?"
Simple Bear: "Are we are at ease with no expectations? Are we just comfortable with just how things are in this moment of time? Most of the time, for some of us, we are not at ease. We have the expectation of not having expectations and that expectation engenders negativity."
Friend: "So, should we or should we not have expectations?"
Simple Bear: "In my limited experience, there are those expectations of others for oneself, and those of others and self for others; seek to reduce those of others for oneself. I think we can have expectations for others but we moderate it with understanding that no one is perfect. No matter how good your intention is, if we don't take into consideration the conditions of others, then it is just 'egoistic' expectations of others."
Friend: "I should work on myself."
Simple Bear: "I should work hard too. I am not perfect."
Friend: "I am disappointed in you."
Simple Bear: "Disappointed?"
Friend: "You seem so cold to me?"
Simple Bear: "Am I supposed to be warm?"
Friend: "I mean, since you are talking about love and kindness, aren't you supposed to be warm?"
Simple Bear: "I am not perfect, my dear. And the image of a warm and fuzzy bear is your expectations of me."
Friend: "Sorry. I didn't mean to."
Simple Bear: "There is no need to be sorry. I am grateful for you telling me. It is an inspiration."
Friend: "Inspiration for ?"
Simple Bear: "I, too falls into the subconscious trappings of having expectations and expecting the expectations to be true and disappointed when it is not. We expects others to be our expectations and in the process, fails to understand them from their perspectives."
Friend: "You mean we should not have expectations?"
Simple Bear: "We can have wholesome expectations, of ourselves and strives to be so. Some may say we won't be disappointed if we don't have expectations but the truth is, can we not have any expectations?"
Friend: "Maybe we can?"
Simple Bear: "Are we are at ease with no expectations? Are we just comfortable with just how things are in this moment of time? Most of the time, for some of us, we are not at ease. We have the expectation of not having expectations and that expectation engenders negativity."
Friend: "So, should we or should we not have expectations?"
Simple Bear: "In my limited experience, there are those expectations of others for oneself, and those of others and self for others; seek to reduce those of others for oneself. I think we can have expectations for others but we moderate it with understanding that no one is perfect. No matter how good your intention is, if we don't take into consideration the conditions of others, then it is just 'egoistic' expectations of others."
Friend: "I should work on myself."
Simple Bear: "I should work hard too. I am not perfect."
Saturday, January 14, 2017
Perfection, a journey
Perfection, a journey
"I am not perfect. I have my weaknesses. If I am perfect now, I would be standing at my destination in this moment of time. It is because of imperfections that I undertook this journey of self discovery, introspection and change so that I may, at the end of the road, reach my destination of perfection, freedom from what is not freedom."
Simple Bear 14.01.2017.
"I am not perfect. I have my weaknesses. If I am perfect now, I would be standing at my destination in this moment of time. It is because of imperfections that I undertook this journey of self discovery, introspection and change so that I may, at the end of the road, reach my destination of perfection, freedom from what is not freedom."
Simple Bear 14.01.2017.
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