给爱人的信
我常说你是我的因果, 谢谢你的出现, 让我学会长大.
你我从今以后不再是爱人的关系, 最后的要求想请你好好的照顾自己, 找个能好好照顾你, 把你当成太阳的地球, 给你美好未来的好男人.
我爱你.
爱你的小熊
Friday, August 12, 2011
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Limited
Limited
‘All of us have limited time here, we are just not consciously aware of this truth.’
Simple Bear 01.08.2011.
For the past one year, I saw two of my colleagues grieved for their loved ones who had passed on and one colleague who grieved for his lost love. It struck a melodramatic chord in me.
Death comes to all men and we have tried explaining the coming of death since the beginning of human civilization. The Christians explained that the existence of death among humans is due to Adam’s transgression. The Greek explanation is Pandora and her box which brought death to mankind.
Everyone fears death and it is this fear that inhibits our ability to understand the truth that death is certain and embrace the certainty.
Many years ago, I used to wallow in self-pity, knowing that I, too shall face this certainty at a time earlier than most people. Time made me forget about this certainty until my body starts reminding me. Accepting this truth of death, I started reflecting on the priorities in my life.
‘What am I leaving when I’m done here’
Linkin Park ‘Leaving Out The Rest’ from the album ‘Minutes to Midnight’
The lyrics reminded me of what do I want to leave behind. I don’t want to leave behind a legacy, I want to leave behind presents, gifts that brings happiness to my loved ones. Sometimes, that presents requires tough decisions to be made but I know at the end of the day, when my time is up here and I go to face my karmic music, I will leave with a smile because I know I will bring smiles to my loved ones with my presents.
Death, I am learning not to fear you. I am going to accept you as part of my life here, the end.
My friends, if you happen to come across this posting when I am gone. Please smile if I had brought smiles to you before, I would know that I had led a good life. Thank you.
Simple Bear
‘All of us have limited time here, we are just not consciously aware of this truth.’
Simple Bear 01.08.2011.
For the past one year, I saw two of my colleagues grieved for their loved ones who had passed on and one colleague who grieved for his lost love. It struck a melodramatic chord in me.
Death comes to all men and we have tried explaining the coming of death since the beginning of human civilization. The Christians explained that the existence of death among humans is due to Adam’s transgression. The Greek explanation is Pandora and her box which brought death to mankind.
Everyone fears death and it is this fear that inhibits our ability to understand the truth that death is certain and embrace the certainty.
Many years ago, I used to wallow in self-pity, knowing that I, too shall face this certainty at a time earlier than most people. Time made me forget about this certainty until my body starts reminding me. Accepting this truth of death, I started reflecting on the priorities in my life.
‘What am I leaving when I’m done here’
Linkin Park ‘Leaving Out The Rest’ from the album ‘Minutes to Midnight’
The lyrics reminded me of what do I want to leave behind. I don’t want to leave behind a legacy, I want to leave behind presents, gifts that brings happiness to my loved ones. Sometimes, that presents requires tough decisions to be made but I know at the end of the day, when my time is up here and I go to face my karmic music, I will leave with a smile because I know I will bring smiles to my loved ones with my presents.
Death, I am learning not to fear you. I am going to accept you as part of my life here, the end.
My friends, if you happen to come across this posting when I am gone. Please smile if I had brought smiles to you before, I would know that I had led a good life. Thank you.
Simple Bear
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
I feel...I think...
Sometimes, they hurt so much that I want to hide myself in the cage of rationality.
Many-a-times, I woke up in the middle of the night, clutching my heart in pain. I could not explain the pain and hurt that I felt but it is salient, even in my waking hours. Tears threaten to flow out from the corners of my eyes. Emotional sensitivity became my second nature and emotions were overflowing every single day. I sought after rationality to make the emotional torture go away. I want to hide myself in the cage of rationality to keep out the pain and hurt. I don’t know how much more I can bear before I fall victim to the talons of the emotional monster.
I was crawling towards the cage in my injured state and just before I reach the gate, I decided to stand and embrace the pain and hurt that I felt. The turning point was an uncle that I met in the wet market. He was trying to sell durians to me and when I declined, he smiled at me. At that moment, in my mind, I ‘saw’ the pain and sorrows of aging in him. With it, I felt a strange tinge of sadness arising in me. Is it compassion? I asked myself. It was a mixture of emotions, a kind of sadness coupled with pain and a feeling of gratitude. I turn around and what I ‘saw’, was the pain, the sufferings of the people, the world around me.
I decided at that point of time to embrace my emotions and be an emotional bear. I could not imprison my mind in the cage of rationality. I don’t want to lose the ability to be able to emphasize and feel for others. In our world, development of rationality is encouraged over emotionality and what we have is a world filled with egocentrism, un-compassion. I know what I need to do to avoid the traps of emotionality; I need to learn to tune my mind towards mindfulness and walk in the middle path between emotionality and rationality.
Such is the extremities of life.
Simple Bear 28.07.2011
Many-a-times, I woke up in the middle of the night, clutching my heart in pain. I could not explain the pain and hurt that I felt but it is salient, even in my waking hours. Tears threaten to flow out from the corners of my eyes. Emotional sensitivity became my second nature and emotions were overflowing every single day. I sought after rationality to make the emotional torture go away. I want to hide myself in the cage of rationality to keep out the pain and hurt. I don’t know how much more I can bear before I fall victim to the talons of the emotional monster.
I was crawling towards the cage in my injured state and just before I reach the gate, I decided to stand and embrace the pain and hurt that I felt. The turning point was an uncle that I met in the wet market. He was trying to sell durians to me and when I declined, he smiled at me. At that moment, in my mind, I ‘saw’ the pain and sorrows of aging in him. With it, I felt a strange tinge of sadness arising in me. Is it compassion? I asked myself. It was a mixture of emotions, a kind of sadness coupled with pain and a feeling of gratitude. I turn around and what I ‘saw’, was the pain, the sufferings of the people, the world around me.
I decided at that point of time to embrace my emotions and be an emotional bear. I could not imprison my mind in the cage of rationality. I don’t want to lose the ability to be able to emphasize and feel for others. In our world, development of rationality is encouraged over emotionality and what we have is a world filled with egocentrism, un-compassion. I know what I need to do to avoid the traps of emotionality; I need to learn to tune my mind towards mindfulness and walk in the middle path between emotionality and rationality.
Such is the extremities of life.
Simple Bear 28.07.2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
The Buddhist Precepts
Simple Bear on the Buddhist Precepts.
'The Buddha didn't taught us to restrict ourselves.
He taught us to know ourselves.
Because we are who we decide we are.'
Simple Bear 19.07.2011.
'The Buddha didn't taught us to restrict ourselves.
He taught us to know ourselves.
Because we are who we decide we are.'
Simple Bear 19.07.2011.
Looking at the Past, Present and Future
Looking at the Past, Present and Future.
'I looked at the past and shed a tear
I looked at the future and I felt fear.
Looking at the present, I see hope
For rectifying the past and saving my future own.'
Simple Bear 19.07.2011.
'I looked at the past and shed a tear
I looked at the future and I felt fear.
Looking at the present, I see hope
For rectifying the past and saving my future own.'
Simple Bear 19.07.2011.
Sense, Think and Smile
Sense, Think and Smile
Be mindful of your own senses, but do not express the discriminations arising.
Be introspective, but do not express your thoughts unnecessarily.
Smile, because you understand.
Simple Bear 19.07.2011.
Be mindful of your own senses, but do not express the discriminations arising.
Be introspective, but do not express your thoughts unnecessarily.
Smile, because you understand.
Simple Bear 19.07.2011.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Seeing Love
'Seeing the mountain as mountain, seeing the water as water
Seeing the mountain not as mountain, seeing the water not as water
Seeing the mountain as mountain, seeing the water as water.'
A literal translation of a Buddhist saying.
A Buddhist monk when asked to comment on his enlightenment, uttered this saying which reflected the differences in his mentality, before enlightenment, during his practice and after enlightenment.
I came across this saying a few years ago and had struggled at that point of time to understand this saying. I can't proclaim now that I can fully comprehend the saying by the Venerable but I had a glimpse of understanding when I applied this saying to my experience and relationships.
This saying represents the understanding of the various conditions in this world and of course, includes love. Understanding the world as it is, understanding ourselves and others, understanding change.
People had tried to explain love for the longest time ever and it can't be explained in a few words. The love that I mentioned in this blog entry is the normative love that we find in our lives and I will leave it to every individual to interpret it as they have experienced it.
First Stage: Love is Blind
'Seeing mountain as mountain, seeing water as water.'
When we fall in love, we all have the tendency to accept our partners as they are, without trying to change them. We are oblivious to the seemingly 'negative' attributes of our partners and some of us may find them adorable to the extent that people around may find it irrational.
Romance and passion is at its height and that clouded our perceived rationality. Despite being 'blind', most of us enjoyed being at this stage, the honeymoon stage. We accepted them as they are.
Second Stage: Love is Change
'Seeing mountain not as mountain, seeing water not as water.'
Love is like a painted wall. As time goes by, the paint starts to peel off the wall. Honeymoon period is over and we slowly regained our sight of perceived rationality. We start to notice the 'negative' attributes of our partners and desire to change them. We start to have expectations, unrealistic expectations of how our partners should react to us. We start wanting to change them, mould them to suit our expected model.
We start to think and blame them for changing but we failed to comprehend that change is the only constant in our lives. We see changes in them not only because they change, we change. Our perceptions change, our expectations of them change, our love change.
We find it harder to accept them as they are. This is perhaps, the most difficult part of love, the cross junction in a relationship.
Third Stage: Love is Love
'Seeing mountain as mountain, seeing water as water.'
Love, in my humble opinion is an one-sided affair. The issue with our perceived notion of love is that we tend to perceive it as a bilateral commitment, with expectations expected to be met. Once it is perceived to be bilateral, expectations arises, disappointments occurs and love disappear.
Love is just simply accepting and giving. I am not trying to put across the notion that we should all accept our partners 'bad' habits as it is and give-in, resigned to our 'fate' together. What I am trying to emphasize is that we should all accept them as they are, understand them, acknowledge the presence of their 'bad' habits and encourage them to change their 'bad' habits for their own benefit. The intention or motivation behind the want for change should be for themselves, not because we want to, need to, for our own vanity sake. Communication is especially important at this stage.
Expectations, we can't avoid but we should always try to moderate our expectations. Again, I am not trying to encourage a apathetic attitude towards our partners but walking the Middle Path in our love, without inclining to extremities. It is a skill to be mastered and together with mindfulness, compassion and loving - kindness, love is a wonderful thing that can change the world for the better.
Love is one-sided but a relationship is bilateral. That is why 'love' is so complicated. Well it is a topic for another time if inspirations arrives.
Seeing the mountain not as mountain, seeing the water not as water
Seeing the mountain as mountain, seeing the water as water.'
A literal translation of a Buddhist saying.
A Buddhist monk when asked to comment on his enlightenment, uttered this saying which reflected the differences in his mentality, before enlightenment, during his practice and after enlightenment.
I came across this saying a few years ago and had struggled at that point of time to understand this saying. I can't proclaim now that I can fully comprehend the saying by the Venerable but I had a glimpse of understanding when I applied this saying to my experience and relationships.
This saying represents the understanding of the various conditions in this world and of course, includes love. Understanding the world as it is, understanding ourselves and others, understanding change.
People had tried to explain love for the longest time ever and it can't be explained in a few words. The love that I mentioned in this blog entry is the normative love that we find in our lives and I will leave it to every individual to interpret it as they have experienced it.
First Stage: Love is Blind
'Seeing mountain as mountain, seeing water as water.'
When we fall in love, we all have the tendency to accept our partners as they are, without trying to change them. We are oblivious to the seemingly 'negative' attributes of our partners and some of us may find them adorable to the extent that people around may find it irrational.
Romance and passion is at its height and that clouded our perceived rationality. Despite being 'blind', most of us enjoyed being at this stage, the honeymoon stage. We accepted them as they are.
Second Stage: Love is Change
'Seeing mountain not as mountain, seeing water not as water.'
Love is like a painted wall. As time goes by, the paint starts to peel off the wall. Honeymoon period is over and we slowly regained our sight of perceived rationality. We start to notice the 'negative' attributes of our partners and desire to change them. We start to have expectations, unrealistic expectations of how our partners should react to us. We start wanting to change them, mould them to suit our expected model.
We start to think and blame them for changing but we failed to comprehend that change is the only constant in our lives. We see changes in them not only because they change, we change. Our perceptions change, our expectations of them change, our love change.
We find it harder to accept them as they are. This is perhaps, the most difficult part of love, the cross junction in a relationship.
Third Stage: Love is Love
'Seeing mountain as mountain, seeing water as water.'
Love, in my humble opinion is an one-sided affair. The issue with our perceived notion of love is that we tend to perceive it as a bilateral commitment, with expectations expected to be met. Once it is perceived to be bilateral, expectations arises, disappointments occurs and love disappear.
Love is just simply accepting and giving. I am not trying to put across the notion that we should all accept our partners 'bad' habits as it is and give-in, resigned to our 'fate' together. What I am trying to emphasize is that we should all accept them as they are, understand them, acknowledge the presence of their 'bad' habits and encourage them to change their 'bad' habits for their own benefit. The intention or motivation behind the want for change should be for themselves, not because we want to, need to, for our own vanity sake. Communication is especially important at this stage.
Expectations, we can't avoid but we should always try to moderate our expectations. Again, I am not trying to encourage a apathetic attitude towards our partners but walking the Middle Path in our love, without inclining to extremities. It is a skill to be mastered and together with mindfulness, compassion and loving - kindness, love is a wonderful thing that can change the world for the better.
Love is one-sided but a relationship is bilateral. That is why 'love' is so complicated. Well it is a topic for another time if inspirations arrives.
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