Monday, December 28, 2015

Just a Smile

Just a Smile

The late John F. Kennedy once said, "ask not what your country can do for you, ask what can you do for your country."

The year was 1961.

54 years later, on Boxing Day 2015, I was contemplating on my experiences and this quote arose within, "Ask not what your fellow humans can do for you, ask what you can do for them."

Perhaps the thoughts which came to mind at this point of time upon reading my previous paragraph are, for example, I don't have money to give like the rich, don't have time to give like the rich etc.

For those of us working in the "helping" sectors, doing well at our work is one way we contribute towards the well-being of our fellow human beings but what can we do everyday outside of our work for our fellow human beings?

For those of us who volunteers our time with the less fortunate, doing well at volunteering e.g. the knowledge and skills to better help the less fortunate is one way of contributing but what can we do everyday outside of our volunteering work for our fellow human beings?

For those of us who donates towards causes which help the less fortunate, more contribution towards the causes is one way of contributing but what can we do everyday outside of our monetary contributions for our fellow human beings?

The answer? To me, is to cultivate positive habits such as positive thoughts, empathy for all, compassion for those who are suffering. In short, become a better person both mentally and emotionally.

I had the wonderful opportunity to dress up as Santa Claus during Boxing Day to distribute snacks to our special friends in Institute of Mental Health and rehabilitation facilities nearby in Buangkok.

Some welcome me (or maybe it is only the snacks :p) with smilies and some (maybe one or two) reacts with negativity but reflecting on the experiences, what was most memorable were the patients who had difficulties sitting up and welcoming me or even have the snacks that I was distributing.

They just smiled at me from their lying positions on their beds. And that, even writing about it now brings tears to my eyes. They gave me a wonderful gift for Christmas. They gave me their smilies.

I reflected upon the wonderous smilies of theirs. Despite their limited physical capacity, they gave me a priceless gift. Perhaps I was imagining things but I could feel positivity when I looked into their eyes when they smiled at me.

They maybe limited in capacity but not in capability.

I asked myself, could I be as good as them? How much does it cost to give a positive thought, a smile to others, to our fellow humans on the street in our everyday life? It doesn't cost a penny. If our special friends can do it, why can't I?

I am not saying that we should just smile (facial expression) everytime to everyone regardless of how we think and feel. We should cultivate and build the cognitive and emotional capacity for smiles. The positive thoughts, the empathy, the compassion that we think and feel are what makes the smiles so valuable and compellingly beautiful.

We can do much more apart from the work, volunteering and monetary contributions for our fellow humans. Everyone is suffering in one way or another; we are all fighting our own wars and maybe a smile is all it takes to provide respite from their sufferings.

The first human to benefit from cultivating those wholesome habits are ourselves.

Thank you to the Achievers, Friends of IMH for the opportunity and all volunteers for helping out.

Thank you to our special friends for the wonderful gifts of smiles and postivity.

May all be well and happy. May all cultivate a beautiful mind and smile.

With Loving-Kindness
Simple Bear 28.12.2015.

Saturday, December 19, 2015

自理

自理

同理对天下
双脚走天涯
莫为从前痴
步入崇真崖


简单熊 19.12.2015.

Saturday, December 12, 2015

Keeping the flame alive

Keeping the flame alive

Ring~~~~

The alarm sounded off at 7am. I lie in bed thinking today is the latest I woke up in the past two weeks. My body is tired. My throat is in pain. My head is dealing with a series of headaches. My mind is exhausted.

I don't feel like going anywhere.

The lazy bear in me was holding to my mind tightly, begging me to cancel all my activities today and sleep in. But the eccentric bear in me was telling me that today is a special day, a day of new understanding.

I decided to ignore the lazy bear in me.

Spent my morning at Apex Harmony Lodge with my old and new friends from Psyconnect, interacting with elderly suffering from dementia. The questions that I had in my mind were (a) are the elderly enjoying our company or are we just a nuisance to them (b) are our presence a help to them i.e. making their days a little happier (c) what else can we do to make their lives better. To say the truth, I don't know how they feel towards us, our presence but I know for most of them, in a brief moment, their smiles are the best answer to my questions.

Looking at some of them in their eyes, I understand and know that I would never know what truly is in their minds, how frightening it is to know and understand the fact that their memories and understanding of the world that they used to know are quickly fading away.

I spent the later part of the day in the Institute of Mental Health as the emcee of a fabulous Christmas party organized by Friends of IMH for our special friends. Again I had the same questions and I had the same answer. They were singing and dancing together with us.

That, to me is good enough.

People asked me since I am already working in the mental health sector, helping people with mental health issues. Why am I still volunteering my time since I am so tired and worn out?

My answer?

It keeps my passion for the mental health sector burning. I am only two weeks in my new work and I know that on a larger scale of things, my work ultimately is part of making Singapore now and in the future, a better place for people suffering from mental health issues but a lot of us had heard stories of bad attitudes and services from social service and healthcare workers.

I am sure for most of us in the sectors, we all started with the passion, the wish to help people through our work and making compassion our lifelong ambition. Along the way, the stress and crazy workload gets to us like a disease, slowly eating us from the inside out. Negativity slowly eating away at our passion. We got burned out. We soon lose sight of the compassionate goals that we had in the beginning. What is left are only bitterness and disappointments.

I don't want that to happen to me. That is why I still volunteer. No matter how grand the goal of work is e.g. to make Singapore a more inclusive and compassionate society for all. What really matter most now and in the future is each and every single one of them who are suffering now from mental illnesses. Seeing them happy or even sad keeps my passion burning and add meaning to my everyday work in the mental health sector.

I don't have big ambitions or dreams that I can change the world for the better. But I know my time spent volunteering and my time at work changes peoples' world, one moment at a time.

They are the reason for my work now and in the future and I don't have to wait to know that I made a difference.

Thank you to the volunteers and to my special friends. You all made a difference to me and you all changed my world for the better.

May all be well and happy.

With Loving-Kindness
Simple Bear 12.12.2015.

Empathy

Empathy

"Empathy is a wonderful gift for oneself and others; be careful with it for it is fragile, a slight tint of ego is enough to shatter it."
Simple Bear 12.12.2015.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

A Burst of Anger

Don't get angry at us!" A colleague commented after I asked for the location of another colleague.

"Was I angry?" I asked myself. Perhaps, it was the negativity that I was exposed to just a minute earlier. Negativity is contagious.

Got off the phone with an elderly stranger who called to 'feedback' about how we are ignorant of the plights of others like her. She hurled bolt after bolt of insults at me.

I have to admit. I felt my blood pressure rising after each abusive word spoken. But strangely as if I was in a zone where time slows down, I was feeling the rising blood pressure slowly and with each breath, I tried to slow it down.

I was caught unprepared. And perhaps I was emotionally hurt as well, not by the words but the pain that I was feeling throughout the phone conversation. The elderly was clearly in pain. Not physical but emotional and mental pain, she was suffering within.

Perhaps unknowingly, I adopted her speaking tone and corresponding imagined facial expression for a brief moment to my colleague and that translates to negativity unknowingly.

I understand she was ranting about how miserable her life is but unfortunately life doesn't improve when you blame others for the misery. When we are negative, we sees only the negative and our life gets even more negative. And the more entrenched the mind is within the negativity without realizing it, it is difficult for others to try and bring some positivity to negate the negativity.

As I sat down in the MRT train, I am still feeling the pain within, gradually withering away with each wish for her to be well and happy.

Sharing negativity doesn't lessen the negativity; sometimes, it only serves to strengthen it.

But fortunately at the other side of the coin, sharing positivity doesn't lessen the positivity that we have but only strengthens and spreads the positivity.

I am grateful for this experience. I understand a little more about myself, the experiential 'science' behind emotional contagion.

My apologies to my colleagues for the brief moment of negativity. And I hope the elderly stranger to be well and happy.

May everyone be well and happy. May all abide in peace.

With Loving-Kindness
Simple Bear 05.11.2015.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

My First Kathina

My First Kathina

As I lay my body on the monastery floor for a quick nap before sunrise, a feeling of gratitude and peace swept over me.

No other words can describe my first overseas Kathina experience.

Spent my weekend in Santi Forest Monastery in Ulu Tiram, Malaysia to participate in the Kathina ceremony.

My gratitude to the 8th committee of Simbuddhist Bhavana for organizing the trip. You girls did a great job! Please send my gratitude to everyone who is involved in helping to make this trip enjoyable.

My sincere apologies to my old and new friends on this trip as I spent a lot of time away from you all in solitary reflection. Thanks for the patience and understanding everyone.

My sincere gratitude to everyone who had contributed to my reflections on this trip including the two cute big dogs in the monastery. I resolved the troubling issues that I had within for the past few weeks.

I had achieved for a brief moment, santi (peace) and I will use the experience to move forward in my spiritual journey.

Thank you everyone.

May all be well and happy.

With Loving-Kindness
Simple Bear 04.11.2015.

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

无所谓

无所谓

心中起了烦恼,没法安静下来。脑海里充满了假设性的各种可能。如果情形一发生了怎么办? 如果情形二发生了怎么办? 如果。。。怎么办? 从如果中萌起了忧郁,应该怎么办。

当脑海被思绪所淹没时,突然之间,一个念头让一切都停止了。犹如海面静了,狂风停了。

我静静地,坐着。

如果下一刻,我死了,这些烦恼,忧郁的理由还重要吗?

不,一点都不重要。

死亡的可能,时时刻刻都在眼前但我们却假装看不见。

死亡并不可怕; 它给了生命它的价值,给了生命它的名字,给了生命它的生命。

犹如黑暗与光明。

今天一整天下来,断断续续,心中的烦恼,所烦恼之事重要吗?

心中已有答案。

无所谓。