I have to confess. I am a habitual liar; I lie to myself quite frequently. I lie to myself in times of procrastination that there is still time for things to be done when in fact time is slipping away. I lie to myself that I am feeling alright although I am overwhelmed with emotions. I lie to myself that I am good in my perceived strengths when in reality I am still a long way from it. I lie to myself that I am inferior and weak, dependent on others when in reality I can stand firm on my two feet if I want to. My lies become who I perceived myself to be when I believed in them. I even gave my lies a name, I called it rationalization.
I need to stop. I need to stop lying.
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
死胖子
“死胖子”
The three abusive words flew at me after I received a hard hit on the arm from her. Passengers on the bus around me were shocked and my classmate was afraid that I may just unleash the bear on my assailant. In the midst of the shouting, I turned to face my assailant and the next moment was laughing with my classmate, who was more surprised by my reaction than the strange assault earlier on, which she was a witness to.
“It is my lucky day. I should go buy lottery tomorrow.” I said to my classmate, of my experience.
I explained to my classmate on the bus journey home that the person who hurled physical and verbal abuse at me was having a difficult time and she was expressing her emotions in the way that she was accustomed to. We may think that her behavior wasn’t socially acceptable but even if we explain to her, she really may not understand our perspective, just as we don’t understand hers either.
I began to reflect on my experience earlier.
When I was facing her, to say the truth, I wasn’t really concerned with her identity but my physiological, emotional and mental reactions to her actions; mindfully searching for signs of anger arising.
I am glad I didn’t find any disturbing signs. The beast was sleeping still.
Anger is anger, there is no difference between she and us and although we may react differently in the expression of the affect, perhaps we too, like her, ignorant of the impact of our expression of anger on the people around us.
Are we aware of the hurt that we bring to others and ourselves when we are angry? Even if we are aware, do we really care about who we hurt as long we unleash the negative emotions?
Although I am not able to do anything to alleviate her suffering but the very least I can do is not to increase hers by reacting negatively, that perhaps is compassion in action, in a non-action way.
I filled my mind with thoughts of hope, for her alleviation of suffering and may she experience better conditions in the future to come.
May all be free from anger, be well and happy always.
With Loving-kindness
Simple Bear 26.02.2014.
The three abusive words flew at me after I received a hard hit on the arm from her. Passengers on the bus around me were shocked and my classmate was afraid that I may just unleash the bear on my assailant. In the midst of the shouting, I turned to face my assailant and the next moment was laughing with my classmate, who was more surprised by my reaction than the strange assault earlier on, which she was a witness to.
“It is my lucky day. I should go buy lottery tomorrow.” I said to my classmate, of my experience.
I explained to my classmate on the bus journey home that the person who hurled physical and verbal abuse at me was having a difficult time and she was expressing her emotions in the way that she was accustomed to. We may think that her behavior wasn’t socially acceptable but even if we explain to her, she really may not understand our perspective, just as we don’t understand hers either.
I began to reflect on my experience earlier.
When I was facing her, to say the truth, I wasn’t really concerned with her identity but my physiological, emotional and mental reactions to her actions; mindfully searching for signs of anger arising.
I am glad I didn’t find any disturbing signs. The beast was sleeping still.
Anger is anger, there is no difference between she and us and although we may react differently in the expression of the affect, perhaps we too, like her, ignorant of the impact of our expression of anger on the people around us.
Are we aware of the hurt that we bring to others and ourselves when we are angry? Even if we are aware, do we really care about who we hurt as long we unleash the negative emotions?
Although I am not able to do anything to alleviate her suffering but the very least I can do is not to increase hers by reacting negatively, that perhaps is compassion in action, in a non-action way.
I filled my mind with thoughts of hope, for her alleviation of suffering and may she experience better conditions in the future to come.
May all be free from anger, be well and happy always.
With Loving-kindness
Simple Bear 26.02.2014.
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Pursuit of Happiness
"Sometimes, in the pursuit of happiness, we focus too much on what we want to be happy but forget what we need to be happy."
Simple Bear 22.02.2014.
Simple Bear 22.02.2014.
Friday, February 7, 2014
Right
"When we indulge in our desire to be perceived as right, we cease to be right."
Simple Bear 30.01.2014.
Simple Bear 30.01.2014.
Advice
"A well-intended advice realises its wholesome potential when it is asked for; not when it is perceived to be needed by."
Simple Bear 21.01.2014.
Simple Bear 21.01.2014.
Understanding Self
"I am
the only person capable of fully understanding myself; and I am, the
only person capable of being fully understood by myself."
Simple Bear 14.01.2014.
Simple Bear 14.01.2014.
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