死胖子

“死胖子”

The three abusive words flew at me after I received a hard hit on the arm from her. Passengers on the bus around me were shocked and my classmate was afraid that I may just unleash the bear on my assailant. In the midst of the shouting, I turned to face my assailant and the next moment was laughing with my classmate, who was more surprised by my reaction than the strange assault earlier on, which she was a witness to.

“It is my lucky day. I should go buy lottery tomorrow.” I said to my classmate, of my experience.

I explained to my classmate on the bus journey home that the person who hurled physical and verbal abuse at me was having a difficult time and she was expressing her emotions in the way that she was accustomed to. We may think that her behavior wasn’t socially acceptable but even if we explain to her, she really may not understand our perspective, just as we don’t understand hers either.

I began to reflect on my experience earlier.

When I was facing her, to say the truth, I wasn’t really concerned with her identity but my physiological, emotional and mental reactions to her actions; mindfully searching for signs of anger arising.

I am glad I didn’t find any disturbing signs. The beast was sleeping still.

Anger is anger, there is no difference between she and us and although we may react differently in the expression of the affect, perhaps we too, like her, ignorant of the impact of our expression of anger on the people around us.

Are we aware of the hurt that we bring to others and ourselves when we are angry? Even if we are aware, do we really care about who we hurt as long we unleash the negative emotions?

Although I am not able to do anything to alleviate her suffering but the very least I can do is not to increase hers by reacting negatively, that perhaps is compassion in action, in a non-action way.

I filled my mind with thoughts of hope, for her alleviation of suffering and may she experience better conditions in the future to come.

May all be free from anger, be well and happy always.

With Loving-kindness

Simple Bear 26.02.2014.